Just because it's January...

I think I'm suffering from "New Year's Syndrome." This is something I just invented to explain the feeling I suddenly have that I need to DO SOMETHING about my weight. It's actually not bad - I need to lose about 10 pounds to get back to "normal" - but it just seems so DAUNTING. And it sounds all well and good to start eating better (read: less cheese) and exercising more (read: at all), but I start school next week and I just know that there's no point in trying to start something until I know what the term is really going to look like. My work schedule is even more travel-heavy in the spring than at other times of the year, and I just don't want to do what I did last fall, which is to try to start working out only to find that I was too exhausted to make time for it. When your only real workout options are 5 a.m. or 9:30 p.m., it's pretty hard to find any motivation. Those are sleepy times.

I guess I hope that because I'm only taking one class this semester, and I don't think it's going to be too work-intensive, maybe I can get myself together and actually do something. I'm at the point where it's just kind of a nagging annoyance that I've gained weight, and I'd like to reverse the trend before it becomes a) worse and b) even more daunting than it already seems. I think it must be true that your metabolism starts to tank in your 30s, and my metabolism wasn't really firing on all cylinders to begin with.

But really, I'm not going to think about this anymore for another week. That's when class starts and I'll see how time-intensive the syllabus looks. If I won't have 2 hours of homework a night, maybe exercising at 9:30 won't seem like such a bad idea.

The Workout Log - Day 1

I finally got tired enough of being tired, gaining weight, and feeling stressed to actually make myself get up early (er, on time) and work out for 20 minutes this morning. It's dorky, but I actually bought a kickboxing video and used that.

News flash: I am SO out of shape! I had no idea it had gotten this bad. About 30 seconds in, I was thinking, "Wow, I used to be able to do this for a whole hour, and I already feel like my legs are going to fall off." And let's not even talk about the crunches. They've never been my favorite and I've never been that great at them, but holy abdominals, Batman, those were hard today.

So...I hope this trend continues and that I actually have a "Workout Log - Day 2" to share with you. I figure a little activity is better than nothing, and it might help me lose some of the weight I've gained over the past several months. I'm forming a loose plan in which I use the Wii Fit on my off days from kickboxing and crunches. If I can be just a little bit active every day, it will be better than I've been doing. It did work really well for my schedule to get up early and get it out of the way, but getting up early is not an easy thing for me to do!

Wish me luck!

La-di-da-da-da-da-da, feelin' chubby

A few months ago, one of my friends posted on her blog that she'd realized she was heavier than she wanted to be. (I am not linking to it, because I doubt she really wants additional traffic to that particular post.)

But anyway, where I'm going with this is that today I've had a similar realization.

It's not like I looked down and went, "Whoa, look at that! When did I suddenly gain all this weight?" More like, I just finally decided I'm tired of it. Since I got the Wii Fit, I've actually been weighing myself, and I've noticed that my weight keeps going up instead of down. According to today's weigh-in, I am currently a depressing 20 pounds heavier than I was when I got pregnant five years ago. This would explain why all my pants and skirts are tight, and why most of my button-down shirts do not comfortably button around the hips anymore. Some of them don't button around the hips at all anymore.

So. Not. Cool.

I attribute this frustrating situation to a few factors:
1) I quit exercising a year ago when my kickboxing teacher got fired, and the new one sucked. Since then, I have convinced myself that I don't have any time to work out because I have other things to do, like work 50 hours a week, travel frequently, go to school and, oh yeah, try to spend time with my family.

2) I travel too much. And as anyone who travels knows, most of the time you're at business dinners that involve rich food - and too much of it. And I have no willpower, so if somebody orders dessert for the table, I eat it. And when I travel is the only time I drink - and alcoholic beverages are rather caloric in general.

3) I still think my thyroid my be off. I go back to the endocrinologist in October so I guess I'll find out then. When I had my yearly exam a few weeks ago, my doctor said my thyroid felt okay - so this might be an empty theory - or an attempt to blame this on something that is not my fault.

4) Stress. I have been super stressed-out and on edge lately, and I am a stress eater. I don't just eat and eat and eat, but I do tend to turn to ice cream for comfort when I am crabby.

So, tonight I did something insane and I actually busted out the running game on the Wii Fit. And I ran for TWELVE ENTIRE MINUTES. Which is shocking, because I hate running. I also did advanced boxing and step aerobics. I guess it's a start.

The question remains if I am going to feel crummy enough about myself to actually head back to the gym with any regularity...as my willpower certainly deteriorates quickly after 9:00 p.m., which is about the time I would be able to go to the gym.

I just want my stupid clothes to fit again. Bleh.

Will keep you posted on how I decide to tackle this latest challenge. I'm open to suggestions.

I blame Facebook

I haven't posted anything at all to my blog in weeks, but I've checked Facebook pretty much every day. In my defense, I've been really busy, and I also don't think anybody really misses my blog posts, as I have approximately 5 regular readers (Hi, Mom).

So, for an update, here are some random thoughts:

I finished the spring semester at school last night (goodbye, boring PR class), and I start my summer class tomorrow. The summer class is an accelerated course, which means it will be a brutal amount of work but that it will also be short (over at the end of June). This means I still get two months off before starting the fall semester. Also, there is no required textbook AND there are no tests, and the prof's syllabus is even funny - so I'm feeling pretty good about this class already. I'm so glad my classes this past semester were pretty easy; I remember how burned out I felt last year at this time, and I can't imagine what it would have been like trying to start a new class two days after finishing those courses. This time, though, it doesn't feel like a very big deal.

I spent some significant time at work today getting a handle on my travel schedule for the summer. I figured out I have three trips in May (two still to go), two in June, three in July, two in August...and that's just for now. There's more to come. It's insane and causes me exceptional guilt and stress, but I'm glad to at least have a job that I like most of the time.

The Wii Fit I got for Mother's Day talks about people behind their backs. When I got on it today, it asked me how I thought Brock was looking lately. I think it might have a crush on him. Also, I don't like its superior tone. I have decided that because it a) doesn't know how delightful chocolate chip cookies taste and b) doesn't even have legs, there is no way for it to possibly know what it's like to be me, so it should just keep its thoughts to itself! It said I've lost seven-tenths of a pound this week, and it seemed completely unimpressed. However, today I unlocked boxing, and that was pretty fun.

The new Green Day Album, 21st Century Breakdown, is awesome. I am extremely bummed I can't go to their concert in Chicago...but I'll be at a trade show in Ohio instead. :( At least Brock gets to go!

This weekend, our goal is to get our hotel and airfare booked for our summer vacation. I'd like to be locked in so we know we're going! Also, we don't think airfare is going to get any cheaper.

I am sleepy. Time to go to bed.

Bummer

So, one of the things I was REALLY looking forward to after finishing school was being able to go back to kickboxing class. Tonight was the first night. I found out this morning (because I am well-connected) that there's drama going on at the gym, and my regular instructor - who is awesome - was told that her services were no longer needed.

I know of 5 people who dropped out before class even started because of this. (We really love our instructor.) But I thought I'd give it a try, to be fair, and it was disappointingly low-impact. I haven't been to kickboxing for almost four months, and I never even got short of breath. I only stopped twice to take a drink of water. And the class finished 10 minutes early! We used to go 20 minutes over. I think it was probably fine if you'd never done kickboxing before and maybe hadn't worked out in a long time. But it's not enough for me, so I'll be asking for a refund.

Bummer.

Life is a highway...

...and mine has been traffic-filled lately.

I went to California for work last week, which was difficult because Hannah is finally old enough to really miss me, understand that she misses me, and make me feel bad about it without even really trying. She was really excited to see me when I came home, though. :)

Our lives have become quite focused on the challenges of potty training a three-year-old. We seem to be making some progress. I got a manicure & pedicure before I left for California, and the women doing my nails gave me a hard time because my daughter isn't potty-trained yet. Seriously - what is it about having a kid that makes total strangers assume they can tell you what they think about the job you're doing? Meh on them.

Work has been insane, but I am not stupid enough to publicly write about why. Let's just say that I am "between bosses." Work has been really busy for Brock, too...he's had to work quite a few late evenings lately. I don't know how he does it; I just wear out at a certain point and can't think anymore, but he can keep plugging on something until he gets it completed/fixed/updated/whatever. It's impressive.

I only have a month of school left, and I haven't really started rocking either of my final projects. I should be doing that instead of this (or at least cleaning the bathroom instead of doing this), but I lack motivation. But...please take my survey if you haven't already! I am taking the summer off, which I'm sure I'll regret when I'm stuck in school and everyone I started with is finished, but I need a break.

I went for a nice walk with Robin on Sunday, which was good...we hadn't done that in awhile and it was nice to catch up. We walked around my neighborhood, and it made me think about how my mind is shifting into "move" mode. We've always known we'd want to try to move before Hannah starts school. Hopefully the market will recover a bit before then...but our stroll around the neighborhood made me realize that I never want to live anywhere with chain link fences ever again. I love our house so much, but I'm starting to hate the chain link fences around here.

The weekend was beautiful here, which was refreshing after so many cold, awful winter months. We broke 60 degrees for the first time! Wahoo! There's hope for us all.

Okay, enough procrastinating. My ethics paper is calling me...

Kickin' it

Today was one of those days that, if it were not against my personal policy (and all good sense) to blog about work, I would have a LOT of things to say, probably involving many words in all caps, lots of indignant exclamation points and several variations on the word "stupid."

But I don't blog about work, so you'll just have to wonder why my day was so annoying.

What all that frustration did do was remind me why I love cardio kickboxing so much, because it just so happens that Thursday is cardio kick night. Today's class coincided nicely with my exasperating day. I hadn't been to class in about a month because of Christmas parties, cavities and traveling, so I was a bit rusty...but my ability to visualize things as I'm punching and kicking the air is as razor-sharp as ever. And man, did it feel good.

Because I am a pacifist, I figure this is the best way for me to safely work out my aggression. Also, cardio kick is better for me than actual kickboxing, because I don't think I could actually kick or punch anybody, no matter how much protective gear was involved. Our instructor is really good, and she does a good job of pushing you in an encouraging sort of way. So you get a good workout AND you get to purge a lot of stress.

And in my case, I could work off the therapeutic cheese fries I had for lunch. It was just a cheese fries kind of day.