The Dark Knight according to a clown-phobe

I did it. I went to see The Dark Knight. I know I said I wasn't going to see it in the theater, but a few factors were at play here. One was, we had babysitters available on Saturday night and we wanted to take advantage of that. Another was, just about everyone I know has seen the movie and I was really starting to feel left out. And the last one was, Brock told me he thought I could handle it, and that he didn't think my clown phobia was necessarily as debilitating as I might portray. (It's true that I don't generally run screaming from clowns, but they do freak me out pretty severely; still, he thought I would be okay and promised to warn me as much as possible about parts where I might want to cover my eyes.)

So, here is my review of The Dark Knight, from a clown-hater's perspective:

• Heath Ledger is the best Joker ever. And he really didn't frighten me much from a clown perspective - partially because I just kept telling myself it was Heath Ledger under all that makeup. Also, he was just a scary character, and would have been whether or not he was in creepy makeup. That was one really bad Bad Guy - the scariest kind of bad guy, who's not motivated by anything other than wanting to create chaos.
• I did spend a LOT of time hiding from clown masks, though. (There are three things I'm really afraid of: clowns, masks and storms. This movie had two out of three.) I felt like I missed a lot of the movie because of it. Brock was really good about warning me when I might not want to watch, but I felt like that happened pretty often.
  
• Two-Face actually freaked me out more than anything in the movie. And since he figures prominently in the last quarter of the movie, I didn't watch a lot of it. I listened to it, at least.
• I thought the film, overall, was really excellent. It didn't feel like a comic book movie at all. It just felt like a scary movie about Good vs. Evil and Order vs. Chaos. So I can see why people are saying it's one of the best movies ever. The story was really good, and there was a lot of suspense, and the chase scene through Lower Wacker (called Lower Fifth in the movie) was awesome.
• Speaking of Lower Wacker, it was cool watching the movie and recognizing all the stuff in Chicago.
• The "disappearing pencil trick" was amusing. Disturbing, but amusing.
• Maggie Gyllenhaal was way better as Rachel Dawes than Katie Holmes was. Sorry, Katie.
• Christian Bale is hot.
• It should have an R rating. Brock and I were talking about this, and we're sure it got a PG-13 because there's virtually no bad language and you really don't see a lot of blood or anything. But it's pretty intense and scary. I don't see how anything with that many bombs and fire and scary stuff can NOT be rated R.
  

Overall, I'm glad I saw it. I wouldn't say I enjoyed it entirely, but I did get to see what all the fuss was about and agree that it was deserved. I don't think I need to see it again anytime soon...or maybe ever...because there were just a lot of parts that made me really uncomfortable. But that's just because of my own personal phobias and has nothing to do with the movie. *chuckle* If you don't have a problem with clowns or clown masks, and you're one of the five people on the planet who hasn't seen the movie yet, then you should totally go see it.

If you do have a problem with clowns, just get it on DVD and watch it with someone who's already seen it so they can tell you when to cover your eyes. :)

I HATE storms

Hate them, hate them, hate them. I don't care how old I get, I have come to terms with the fact that I will always be terrified of bad storms. Last year's almost-tornado experience didn't help this; in fact, I think it probably made it worse, because now I kind of know what I'm really up against. And tonight we've had bad storms.

So tonight, Brock is stuck in D.C. because his flight home to Chicago was canceled (see: bad storms above). And we've had tornado warnings and sirens going off and everything, and it's just me and Hannah. And when the most calm person in your house is the 3-year-old, you have a problem.

I have to say I think I did a pretty good job faking calm. We just went and played in the basement for an hour or so, and Hannah had a delightful time. She just kept saying, "Wow, it's pretty stormy outside, huh?" She totally didn't care at all. Why can't I be like that? I was a basket case. I'm quite impressed with her.

Despite my inner panic, I'm actually pretty impressed with me, too. I don't think Hannah had any idea how scared I was when the sirens went off.

I HATE storms. Hate them. I hope they're done for the night. We're down to a "severe thunderstorm watch" now, so hopefully things will calm down some.

Work, schmerk

Today was the third day in a row that somebody cheesed me off after 4 p.m., causing me to do additional work that made me NOT leave at 4:30, which is supposed to be our official "quitting time" but really hardly ever is. But today I really wanted to leave at 4:30, and I didn't get to. Leaving anywhere after 4:45 gives me stress about getting to pick Hannah up from daycare in time...leaving at 5:10 makes me positively twitchy. Leaving at 5:20 means she is for sure the last kid at daycare because I can't roll in any earlier than 5:59 (pick up has to be by 6:00).

I used to leave work by 4:45 or so every day. It doesn't work that way anymore - not with the new job. Today I really wanted to leave earlier because we had no food in our house and I wanted to make a mad dash into the store to buy milk (because we were completely out) and something for dinner (because last night we had fish sticks and today we didn't have any other options). It worked out okay - Hannah and I just made a quick trip to the store after I picked her up - but it's frustrating. And I would have been able to leave on time every day since Wednesday if people would just not give me trouble. Argh.

So we finally got home, and Hannah and I had a lovely time making pizza. We had dinner, she got a bath, we watched Veggie Tales and then we read two bedtime stories. My outlook on life was definitely improving. Then I sat down with the computer to do some mindless reading, and my computer won't load any of the blogs I like to read. I can live without most of them, except for Go Fug Yourself. I haven't read it since early this week and it makes me happy, and I was looking forward to the comfort of noting that, even if work bothers me, at least I've never walked out of the house looking half as bad as some of the people on that blog.

So now I'm annoyed again and there's nothing I can do about it, because my tech support is out of town.

Argh.

In memory

I learned this morning that my grandmother passed away yesterday. We weren't at all close, which is something I regret, and I am sadder than I thought I would be now that she's really gone. I thought I had long ago worked through the fact that I wasn't going to have a grandma the same way other people have grandmas, and that when the end did come it would just sort of feel like the final detail in a relationship that wasn't really a relationship at all. But I am sad that things were the way they were.

Still, I've spent the day reflecting on some of the happy memories I do have of my grandma, and even if you didn't know her, these are amusing. And they're a fun way to honor her and to remember that once upon a time, things were different. Here we go:

• To the best of my knowledge, my grandmother invented "stuffed celery," which is raw celery stuffed with a combination of cream cheese, chopped onion, pepper and more salt than seems reasonable. It is one of the great taste sensations of all time, and I believe could be considered one of my grandma's best contributions to society. To this day, it does not feel like Christmas or New Year's to me if I do not have stuffed celery to eat.
  
• Aside from the triumph of stuffed celery, my grandmother was not a very good cook. My dad has great stories about her trying to make mashed potatoes with melted ice cream because she was out of milk, or SPAM sandwiches with that weird jelly stuff still on them. But my own personal memory of my grandma and cooking revolves almost entirely around Jell-O. I hate Jell-O, and really pretty much always have, but she was one of the great supporters of Jell-O's sales figures when I was little. I vividly remember one of her kitchen cabinets was literally filled with boxes of every kind of Jell-O.
• One year, she gave me a kazoo on my sister's birthday (you know, so I wouldn't feel left out). I know my parents were greatly displeased by this, but I thought the kazoo was pretty awesome. I think she may have also been the source of the harmonica I had, but never learned how to play properly. Harmonicas sound horrible if you don't know what you're doing, but they are pleasantly noisy if you're 6.
  
• She was a great beer-drinker. When I was very little I said to her (and I have no idea where I got this notion), "Grandma, ladies don't drink beer." And she laughed and took another pull from the bottle. *chuckle*
• One year she gave my dad pajamas for Christmas. My dad hates pajamas, and I told her so. In front of everyone. From this experience I learned that it sometimes it is better not to say what you're thinking, even if it's true...and this life lesson serves me well to this day.
• Another food-related memory: my grandma's lake cottage is the only place in my life I ever remember having Tang to drink, and it was horrible. On the plus side, though, she would get those little individual-serving boxes of all the super-sugary cereal we never were allowed to have at home, so we got to eat Coco Puffs and Sugar Crisp and whatever that really sweet honey cereal was that had a frog on the box. That was really awesome, especially for a kid from a decidedly Grape Nuts and Cheerios family.

But the very best thing I have to say about my grandmother, and the thing I will always be most grateful to her for no matter what flaws she might have had as a grandmother, is that she gave the world my dad. And that, my friends, is an amazing contribution. :)

KO, baby

We played Wii Boxing tonight...and I doled out two straight knock-outs to Brock. I am the boxing champion of our household! Woo hoo! All I need now is a big gold belt.

I think it was all my kickboxing training. :)

Let's not talk about my bowling, though...I was doing really well, on my way to pro status, and then I bowled three crummy games in a row. Besides, I think Hannah's gotten the highest score of all of us, anyway...

Busy busy busy

The last few of weeks have been pretty crazy. I made it through a very rough week at my new job, in which I was convinced I had made a huge mistake and should just go cry in a corner instead. But I came out on the other side of that, and while I'm still kind of overwhelmed and feel like I don't know which way is up, I'm making incremental progress on some things and am starting to feel like I'm accomplishing something.

I had my first business trip with the new job last weekend. Thankfully, it was short - but it also encompassed Saturday and Sunday, so today is my first real day off in a couple of weeks. Also, I came back from the trip with a stomach bug and spent Tuesday lying on the couch eating crackers, 4 at a time, in shifts of every few hours. What was completely bizarre about it was that exactly 24 hours after I started feeling horrible, I got ravenously hungry and ate tacos. And I've been totally fine ever since. Really weird.

Brock is off with some friends this afternoon seeing The Dark Knight, because I refuse to go see it in the movie theater. At some point, I want to see it because it's supposed to be really good - I told Brock I felt like I'd be missing out on a cultural experience if I didn't eventually watch it - but I can't handle it in the theater. Too many scary clowns. And I'm scared of clowns that aren't even supposed to be scary. So Brock's "screening" it for me and when we do eventually watch it together, it'll be on DVD in the safety of our own home, and he can tell me when I need to hide my face.

Hannah has a cold...which stinks...but this morning at 4:45 when she woke up crying we really thought it might be bronchitis, so we'll take the cold. She's been doing all right today. Dimetapp is helping.

And now...I need to go do some stuff for work. Bleh.

Wii!

We finally got one! Wahoo!

So far we've only played Wii Sports. Hannah's pretty good at bowling. :) I think I'm best at baseball and worst at tennis...Brock seems to be best at golf and bowling.

As soon as my shoulder fully recovers from the rotator cuff injury I suffered last weekend playing boxing on our friend's Wii, I am totally going to use boxing as my new stress relief. It was a better workout than the lame kickboxing class I tried earlier in the summer.

This thing is awesome.