Kind of a gross topic

Sometimes I get cystic acne. I know that's a disgusting thing to talk about. It happens mostly when I'm stressed or particularly hormonal. It's been this way for most of my life, and while two rounds of Accutane as a teenager made it so I can get by without a dermatologist's care, I still have flare-ups occasionally and probably will for the rest of forever.

I hate when this happens. Mostly because 1) it looks AWFUL; 2) it hurts; and 3) I am 29 years old, for pete's sake, and at some point it would be great if I outgrew this. Ugh. While this isn't some horrible affliction, it's still a problem; it affects self-esteem dramatically, and for someone like me, whose job it is to talk to and interact with people for a living, it can be really complicated. Fortunately, I've gotten pretty masterful with concealer and powder over the years, so I can at least lessen the startling effect of particularly bad episodes. I can't make it invisible, but I can at least make it so that, from a bit of a distance, it's not so noticeable.

This latest round, which started last Saturday, got me thinking...about why I feel so horrible when I'm in the middle of a breakout, and about what makes me feel better so I can get through it without just crawling into a hole and hiding. So, here are my tips for those going through the same sort of thing (holla, teenagers...or other 29-year-olds who wish they would outgrow this, too), and for those who love them.

Things That Make Me Feel Better When My Skin Isn't Cooperating and I Feel Ugly

• Wearing clothes I really like. When you break out, it is not the time to wear things that don't fit right, or that you don't particularly care for. Wear a really great sweater or something and hope it draws attention away from your face.
• Not having to talk to people in person. This isn't always feasible, but hiding really is a nice option sometimes.
• Makeup. I feel sorry for guys who are barred by social norms from wearing it. If I were a guy, I think I'd try to figure out a way to wear makeup anyway when I broke out.
• My husband. Because he never thinks I look ugly.
  
• My daughter. Because I really don't think she notices as long as she has someone to play with.
  
• Tylenol. Because it really does hurt.
  

Interacting with a Person Who Has Cystic Acne: DOs and DON'Ts

• DO try to keep your face-to-face conversations short.
• DON'T force eye contact; the person in question probably doesn't want to know you're looking at her, and so it's easier for her if she doesn't have to look at you.
• DON'T make any sort of comment about the cyst. This has always driven me crazy. I can understand why horrible kids in middle school would say stuff like, "Hey, did you get in a fight?" It's because we were all 13, and you just say mean stuff when you're 13. But worse is when someone tries to be sympathetic. "Wow, does that hurt?" is never appropriate to say. This is because the person with the cyst needs to pretend that you can't tell there's something amiss, and if you say anything about it at all, it breaks the illusion.
• DO compliment some other aspect of the person. See "great sweater" above.
• DO act surprised if the person says something about the cyst first. Appreciated comments would include, "Wow, I couldn't even tell" or "Really? I didn't notice until you said something." Even if this is sort of a lie, it will make her feel better.
  
• If the person in question is your kid, and he or she is not an adult yet, DO force him or her to go to the dermatologist. DON'T take no for an answer on this. This is the only time I think it's okay to break the "don't say anything" rule above. Your kid will be really annoyed at you, mostly due to embarrassment, but it's worth it.
  

So...I know it's icky, but I felt like I had a public service to offer here. Twenty years (no kidding) of dealing with this stuff makes me sort of an expert.

Christmas chicken

Merry Christmas! We have had a fantastic day here with the Christmas-crazy toddler. There were gifts, there was merriment, there was food. And that's what I wanted to post about, because today I cooked my first-ever whole chicken.

A couple of weeks ago it just sort of hit me that I'd never cooked a whole bird of any kind, and I thought I needed to try it. We've been trying to figure out a good Christmas dinner for about four years (ever since we stopped visiting out-of-state relatives on the actual day), with the only constant during that time being broccoli casserole. One year we had lasagna. One year we had ham. I kind of can't remember what we had last year. So roast chicken sounded pretty good, and appropriately Christmas-y. I'd just never cooked one.

So, after consulting with the Better Homes & Gardens New Cookbook, my mom, my sister, and various people at work, and calling my parents from the grocery store to find out the difference between a "roaster" chicken and a "broiler" chicken (turns out the roaster is just bigger, but you can roast either one; do they just label them that way to be confusing?), I was ready to give it a shot today. And I must say, it turned out really good, and I don't mind saying I am quite proud of my culinary accomplishments.

My sister swears if you cook a bird upside-down, it keeps it from drying out. I believe her, but since the logistics of bird-cooking were new to me, and I spent a solid couple of minutes just staring at the cookbook illustration of how to tuck the wings (which I still don't think I did right), I just cooked our chicken right side-up. I didn't think I should try to get too fancy on my first chicken-cooking adventure.

I started off with a recipe and some recommendations from the cookbook, and then sort of made it up from there...I didn't have all the herbs that were called for, but I had some other ones, so I just went with it. Below is my "recipe," mostly so I'll remember it if I ever want to try this again (like, next Christmas):

Christmas Roast Chicken
1 "broiler" chicken (mine was 4.3 pounds)
About 4 tablespoons melted butter
3 garlic cloves, minced
3 garlic cloves, chopped in half
Half an onion, chopped in big pieces
About a 1/2 cup of celery, chopped in big pieces
About 1 teaspoon dried minced onion
About 1 tablespoon dried basil
About 1 teaspoon dried marjoram
About 1 teaspoon dried parsley
About 1 teaspoon dried thyme
Salt
Pepper

So, I remembered to pull the little bag of icky stuff out of the chicken, and I rinsed out the chicken and patted it dry like the book said. And after tucking the wings and skewering the neck skin (also like the book said), I stuffed the chopped onion, celery and garlic in "the cavity." That was kind of a gross thing to do, and I had to keep myself from thinking about it very much. (By the way, we didn't eat the "stuffing"...it was just to add some flavor and keep everything moist.) Then I put the whole bird in a cooking bag that had some flour and water in it. I rubbed the melted butter on the chicken (I would have brushed it on, but I couldn't find a basting brush so I just used my hands), and then the minced garlic. In a separate bowl (before all this chicken handling), I mixed all the dried herbs, salt and pepper, and then I put that on the chicken. I closed up the bag (and cut slits in the top) and baked it all at 375 for a little over an hour and a half. And it was really good.

Cooking a whole bird successfully makes me feel more grown-up for some reason. And with some mashed potatoes, our favorite broccoli casserole and some whole wheat dinner rolls, it made a very nice Christmas dinner. :)

Merry Christmas (again)!

Christmas song recommendations

I love holiday music. I say "holiday" because last year my friend Jen gave me the Barenaked for the Holidays CD (by the Barenaked Ladies) and I like the Hanukkah songs almost as much as the Christmas ones, although I confess I don't really feel the meaning of them since I'm not Jewish.

So on this, Christmas Eve Eve, I would like to offer a few of my favorite Christmas songs, because I can:

• Christmas Song - Dave Matthews: A new approach to the story of Mary, Joseph and Jesus that is both beautiful and incredibly moving
• God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Barenaked Ladies & Sarah McLachlan: I like this song, but I like it a lot better when they sing it...it's got a lot more pep
• Elf's Lament - Barenaked Ladies & Michael Buble: Just fun, and secular if you're not so into the "Jesus music"
• It Came Upon A Midnight Clear - Sixpence None the Richer: Another updated take on an old song that I really, really like
• The Night Santa Went Crazy - Weird Al Yankovic: Because it's hilarious, even if I can't listen to it with my daughter in the car :)
• Christmas - Blues Traveler: Just discovered this one this year, and I love it
  
• Darcy the Dragon - Roger Whittaker: If you are under 50 and did not grow up with my parents, you have probably never heard of Roger Whittaker or this song; while I admit that it, and the entire 1978 album it is on, is extremely cheesy, for me it means Christmas and reminds me of home
• Best Gift - Barbra Streisand: My mom always said this song makes her think of me, because I'm a Christmastime baby...and that makes me feel pretty cool
• I Wonder As I Wander - Barbra Streisand: It's okay to have Barbra Streisand on this list twice, because her voice is awesome (especially for Christmas music). And this is my number one, all-time favorite Christmas song, and nobody sings it better than her. Although my MIL sang this at church one year and I totally cried because it was so beautiful

Merry Christmas!

Fillings

So, today I had to get three fillings in my teeth. This was a crushing experience because I feel like my teeth are betraying me. I have been very, very good to them for as long as they've existed. I brush at least twice a day. I floss every day. I use a fluoride mouthwash. And until a year or so ago, I'd never had a single cavity.

And then I got one. Not a bad one, but it still required shots and drilling and general unpleasantness.

Then last week I went to the dentist for a regular cleaning. I love getting my teeth cleaned. It is just the most refreshing feeling, and I wish I didn't have to ruin it by eating soon after. The hygienist said I had "excellent" at-home care and that I should keep doing what I'm doing. Hooray! And then the dentist came in and said I had three - THREE - tiny cavities.

Our dentist is awesome. He's really, really good at what he does and it doesn't even really hurt when he gives you shots. There are many, many dentists closer to our house than this guy, and we go to him anyway. But I still think this all might be his fault, because I never had a cavity until I started going to him. Okay, I don't really think that, but it was funny to tell him so. I also told him that everything was falling apart because I'm turning 30 next year. He laughed at both things. And then he told me that I shouldn't feel bad about my cavities, and to come back for three fillings.

So I got three fillings today (all on the top), and my face was mostly numb for quite awhile this evening. It was actually pretty hilarious because one side of my nose ended up being numb, so I tried to crinkle my nose but only one side crinkled. That was weird, and funny.

Stupid teeth. I've taken such good care of them, and this is how they repay me. Argh.

No more teachers, no more books...

You know the tune:

Joy to the world!
I'm done with school
At least for six whole weeks!
My paper's done
My PowerPoint, too
And even my final exam
And even my final exam
And even, and even my final exam!

Wahoo! Now I can be totally distracted by Christmas without feeling guilty for neglecting schoolwork. And I'm off school until the end of January...so happiness reigns in our house today.

I think I'm going to go read People magazine and not use any brain power at all. (Vic, if you're reading this, hang in there, girl. You're almost done, too!)

I am the champion

Today was a big day for me...we had a holiday cookie baking contest in my department at work, and I won "Most Delicious" (for my baked goods, not me personally). I would like to stress that there were no rules for this contest; however, I still feel like I may have cheated a little bit because 1) I didn't actually make cookies, because I'm not that great at baking cookies and am much better at baking other things; and 2) I started with a boxed mix. But I still won, which made me feel better than it probably should have. (When the best thing to happen to you in your professional life in recent memory is that you won a completely informal cookie taste test - and you are not any sort of pastry chef - you have to admit that things could be better.)

However, the very best thing about today was that there were like 22 kinds of cookies to taste in our department, so we were all on happy sugar highs and in very good spirits. :) I ate a very large salad for lunch with a lot of green vegetables on it, so I figure I've compensated enough for the massive amount of cookies I ate.

Here, for your enjoyment, is my now award-winning recipe, which I got from an "America's Best Brand-Name Baking" cookbook, but which can also be found pretty easily online (and not just here; I Googled it because I didn't feel like getting off the couch to actually go get the cookbook from the kitchen and copy the recipe):

Cheesecake-Topped Brownies

1 large (family-size) box fudge brownie mix (Mine was Duncan Hines, about 21 oz.)
8 oz. cream cheese, softened
2 tablespoons butter or margarine, softened
1 tablespoon cornstarch
14-oz. can sweetened condensed milk
1 egg
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Ready-to-spread chocolate frosting (the recipe says this is optional, but I think it's absolutely mandatory)

1. Preheat oven to 350. Prepare brownie mix according to package directions. Spread evenly in well-greased, 9 x 13-in. pan.
2. In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese, margarine and cornstarch until fluffy. Gradually beat in the sweetened condensed milk, egg and vanilla until smooth. Pour evenly over the brownie batter. (I know it sounds like this might not work, but don't worry, it does.)
3. Bake 45 minutes or until top is lightly browned (keep an eye on it after about 40 minutes so it doesn't get too brown).
4. Cool completely. Spread with frosting. Cut into bars. Store in the refrigerator.

In my experience, making these the night before you want to serve them works really well. Frost them, but don't cut them; keep them in the fridge overnight and cut them the next day.

Mmm, brownies.

P is for procrastinate

I admit it. I'm out of gas for this school thing. I am ready for a break. My brain is tired. I've been battling a cold for more than a week and a half. I am still fervently interested in the things I'm learning in class (I'm a nerd, but I really, really love going to class), but when it comes time to apply them in the form of a big ol' final project I'm supposed to turn in six days from now...I'm not into it. I would much rather be doing other things. Like looking at the Christmas tree we just put up today, or thinking about what gifts we're going to get people (especially the very fun, Christmas-crazy, almost-three-year-old in the house). Or reading my favorite blog. Or blogging, even though I don't have anything terribly interesting to say. :)

Luckily, right now I have a very good grade in my class, so if I can kick butt on the take-home final (which seems to be reasonable, given that, since it's a take-home, I can look up all the answers), I will have bought myself a pretty nice cushion for the grade on the project I can't seem to get into. I just have to actually finish it, and I should be in good shape.

I get six weeks off from school after this. I am so ready for it. I'm going to sleep in on Saturdays (like, past 7:00) and maybe read entire books for fun.

But first, there are the next six days...and the big project due at the end. Bleh.

That's enough London...

So...we're back. We've actually been back for a week, and I can't believe it's already been a whole week since I was in London. Back to reality, I guess. That's the worst part of vacation - when it's over. Although this time, it was okay that vacation was over because we both missed Hannah.

Our flight home from London last Tuesday was wonderfully uneventful. The only glitch was when Brock unknowingly bought carbonated water in the vending machine in the gate waiting area, and we both almost gagged when we tried it. The bottle said it was something like "England's preferred water" or "famous water" or something, but it was disgusting. Water is supposed to be still. If it's carbonated, you're supposed to add a bunch of high fructose corn syrup and carmel color so you get a nice Coke. That's just the way it is.

Anyway, I didn't sleep on the plane home at all, because it was during the middle of the day, so I read half a novel and watched Hairspray on the little in-flight entertainment thing. I liked Hairspray, although John Travolta as a very large woman is a disturbing thing. Very disturbing. They did feed us lunch and dinner, though, and both were pretty good, so I didn't have any complaints about the flight.

The best part about coming home was seeing Hannah. :) Brock's parents were wonderful and drove her home for us, so she was here when we got home from the airport. She yelled, "Mommy!" and gave me the biggest hug ever! She kept randomly hugging both of us for the rest of the evening. And she'd go, "That's my dad! Do you see Hannah's dad over there?" It was pretty cute, and nice to know that she missed us even though she had fun while we were gone. We're still working on backing off on some of the extra-demanding attitude she seems to have developed while we were in London, but otherwise we're pretty much back to normal.

And then Wednesday it was back to work, which felt weird. I mean, the first day after vacation is always weird, but it was odd sitting at my desk and thinking, "Just yesterday I was in London." We have to go back sometime. :)

Thursday I came down with an awful cold, which I still have, which made it definitely feel like vacation was over. I kept joking that I got the plague from all those medieval buildings we were in, but I'm pretty sure it was just the 8+ hours of recirculated air on the plane. Whatever.

When's the next vacation? I'm ready!