10 steps to a perfect Christmas

1. Wake up to sounds of three-year-old singing Christmas songs in her bed. Look at clock and realize it's after 8:00, and feel even happier.
2. Watch three-year-old in awe of her presents from Santa, presents from Mommy and Daddy, and presents from wonderful friends - well, in awe of everything but the boring old clothes... :)
3. Go outside and watch three-year-old and her daddy try out the new purple sled that Santa brought. Laugh when she says, "I wanna do it again!" every time the sled comes to a stop.
4. Do not bother taking a shower, changing out of pajamas (except for the brief jaunt outside) or putting on makeup.
5. Watch Wall-E (one of top 5 great movies ever) on new HDTV.
6. Play with three-year-old's new toys, including Play-doh (which smells weird and feels weird, but she likes it so it's still fun, I guess).
7. Make a very simple but delicious dinner of ham, broccoli casserole and "Mimi mashed potatoes" (potatoes with cream cheese, butter and sour cream).
8. Relax while husband does dishes.
9. Watch Frosty the Snowman for the 8 zillionth time, but that's okay. Smile when kid sings along with the theme song at the end.
10. Feel very lucky to spend the whole day hanging out with my little family.

Merry Christmas!

The school debrief

So, I haven't mentioned on here that I am officially done with classes for the semester. I had kind of an anticlimactic end to the semester because on my last day of Saturday class, I didn't have to do anything but hand in my take-home final, and my last Thursday class got canceled because of the weather so all we had to do was email the take-home final to the instructor.

I do not enjoy studying or test-taking, generally, but it does make for sort of a sputtering end to the term when you can't do the brain dump onto your exam paper, drop the thing on the instructor's desk and emerge, triumphant, from the hallowed halls of learning that have sapped all your energy and free time for the preceding 15 weeks. But I am almost certain I got an A in both my classes, which makes me happy, because I like getting A's very much. :)

With this term, I am halfway done with grad school. This is AWESOME! I can totally see the end from here...it's like being at the top of the mountain, and while there's still a long walk down, at least from here on out I'm going down and not up anymore! Six more classes to go (two this spring, one over the summer, two in the fall and the big finish the following spring).

I'm planning to enjoy my nice, long break. I have to cram in some business travel in January since I'm not that available for business trips during the semester, but otherwise, I'll be happy to be home more. School only takes me from home two days a week, and I do almost all of my homework after Hannah goes to bed, but I still feel a little guilty that I'm not always here when she needs or wants me to be. Luckily, I have a great husband who totally picks up the slack for me, and keeps me sane.

I still love school, though. I'm kind of wondering what I'll do when I'm done. I like learning! I'm a nerd. :)

On turning 30

Today I am 30 years old.

I spent most of the last year being freaked out about the looming three-oh. I'm not sure why. I'm quite pleased with where I am in my life. For some reason, though, when I turned 29, it hit me that I hadn't done anything crazy in my twenties and now they were almost over. I got married when I was 22 and one week, moved to a new state when I was 22 1/2, got a good job and bought a house at 24 and had a baby at 26. All of those are wonderful things, but it didn't leave a lot of time for being crazy. So I never did one crazy thing, ever - nothing to tell Hannah about when she gets older and I try to "relate" to her while she rolls her eyes and says I'm lame. *chuckle* And I think that's why I was having anxiety about 30. Because who does crazy stuff in their thirties?

I'm not even a "do crazy stuff" kind of person, which I suppose is why I never have. But I'd like to do one wacky thing, just once, that's fun but doesn't involve any kind of trouble. I've decided I will work on this in my "year of being 30."

The funny thing is, the closer my birthday got, the less I freaked out about it. I think the freaking out hit a fever pitch a couple of months ago, and it's been on this slow decline ever since then. It just seemed inevitable, and then it started to seem like any other birthday, and then it seemed like not a big deal at all. So I'm actually feeling quite happy today. :)

This is helped along by the fact that my family got me Rock Band 2, so I've been playing video games all day. And if you can still play video games when you're 30, there's still time to do something memorable and wacky, too! :)

Almost done

So...I have one take-home final left, and that's it. I have zero motivation to even start it. (I've had it since Thursday night, and it has remained firmly in my pile of school books ever since.) My rationale for this is that, if I were to take the final IN CLASS, it would take an hour, so since I have three nights left in which to do it, certainly I can get it done in plenty of time. I know that fundamentally this is right. However, I really should've started the thing already. I mean, I haven't even LOOKED at it. I have no idea what's on it.

I think I might be turning into a "normal" student. And it only took nearly 30 years, a husband, a full-time job and a preschooler to get me here. *chuckle*

But speaking of "nearly 30 years," I went out for my "nearly 30th birthday" on Saturday and had a delightful time. (Probably saying it was "delightful" sounds old...like high tea or something. It was not like high tea, unless they have margaritas, tequila shots and vodka tonics at high tea...which, I believe, they do not.) Anyway, I went to The Baton in Chicago with some friends, which provides "the best in female impersonation" according to their website. (I'm not linking to the website because there's not much there, and you'd just be disappointed. Google it if you really care.) Anyway, the show was fantastic and we all had a great time. Two of the performers completely confused me with their flawless makeup and flawless other things. And two were totally making eyes at one of my friends, who happens to be a very cute gay man...partially because he's very cute and partially, I think, that they know they get tips if they stare at people in the audience.

And, remarkably, I was in "okay" shape the next day. I won't say I didn't need extra sleep, and I won't claim to have gotten through the day without Tylenol...and I did actually go outside the house without makeup for approximately the first time since giving birth because I just didn't have the energy to deal with concealer...but I was "okay." :)

So yeah, I'm NOT 30 YET!

And now, I must put my kid to bed and sort of think about maybe starting that final, I guess, perhaps...

Papers and presentations and tests, oh my!

Sometimes, I wonder what my undergraduate career would have been like, had there been blogs and Twitter and the general internet environment we find ourselves in today. Because I think I procrastinated a lot then, anyway, and I can't for the life of me figure out how I was doing it. I think maybe I just watched a lot of Dawson's Creek and had deep, philosophical discussions with my roommate about why we liked Pacey SO MUCH BETTER than Dawson. Anyway.

So, I was reading Vic's 3:30 a.m. post about not being able to sleep during finals, and I thought, "Yeah, why is it so annoying? Was I this annoyed as an undergrad?" I think I probably was, but I also had a lot less going on.

So this week, for example, I have a paper and presentation due tomorrow. Paper is done. Presentation is not. And it's not done because I had stomach flu yesterday. Not a terribly bad case, but bad enough that I couldn't eat any food, which meant that by about 3:30 yesterday afternoon (after TWO two-hour meetings, plus other meetings, plus three presentations on various things having to do with my job), I was just about done. And the weather was crap. And then I came down with a fever. So, meaning to only sleep for a couple of hours before getting up to try to at least draft the presentation, I actually fell asleep on the couch and didn't wake up till 11:30. At which point, I just went to bed, because you can't START homework at 11:30.

So today I am better, but I have no presentation, and I have two things I need to do for work tonight AFTER I finish and practice the presentation, and here I am blogging.

Because it's a lot more fun to complain about stuff than it is to actually do it.

Although I suppose I should just go do it anyway.

It is so hard to focus!

You know, Christmastime is very distracting. Especially when you have a little kid who loves Christmas lights and Christmas trees and Christmas everything else. And super-especially if you happen to work with a bunch of wonderful people who get way into the holiday spirit and plan no less than six holiday activities for your department. And really-especially if your birthday and your anniversary all happen around Christmas. It's fun, but I am having a hard time getting anything done at work or at home!

Like right now, I should be working on the second question of my take-home essay final exam for one of my classes, but I just kind of don't feel like it. So I'm procrastinating. But I said I wasn't going to bed till it was finished, and I meant it.

I will just have to put the following thoughts out of my head:
1) I have not started Christmas shopping.
2) I haven't even made the list of people we need to shop for.
3) I haven't begun to think about sending Christmas cards.
4) I would really rather be thinking about any of these things than multicultural marketing.

And so...back to my regularly scheduled essays. But this was a nice break. :)

All a-twitter

So, you might have noticed something new along the right-hand side of your screen, here: Twitter Updates.

Yeah, I got a Twitter account today. Feel free to follow my every move; I'm highly interesting. *chuckle*

So...can Facebook really be far behind? I've been resisting, but I'm starting to think resistance is futile... :)

Steamrolling to the end of the semester

I think I'm really about three or four different people: School Me, Work Me, Home Me (which could further split into Mom Me and Wife Me), Friend Me.

School Me is torn about class right now, because the end of the semester is barreling toward me. I am 99% sure I'm going to get an A in the class I like. I am 99% sure that getting the paper done for the class I don't like is going to be wicked torture. How can I like one class so much and hate the other one so much?

Anyway, after Thanksgiving I only have two classes left for one course (the one I hate) and three classes left for the other (the one I like). After my Tuesday "Oh my gosh school is almost over and I haven't even outlined the biggest paper I have to do" session, I am in okay shape on getting everything done. I'll be in better shape if I can grab a few hours over the Thanksgiving holiday to get some more work done, but that's usually challenging because we're with family, and they want to, you know, talk to me and stuff. *chuckle* Of course, I love being with them, too...but I also just want to get this stupid paper finished and out of my life forever and ever.

The thing is, I like being School Me. I love school. I forgot how much I loved school until I went back. So I wonder...will I miss School Me when this three-year odyssey is over? I think I probably will.

But then I think...if School Me goes away again, maybe I could get Reading for Fun Me back. I do miss her a bit. :)

Thanksgiving recipes

I've been meaning to post these for several days, and now that the holiday is practically upon us, I figured I'd better get it done! These are the two recipes I make every year for our family Thanksgiving dinner. People demand the Pumpkin Cake Roll, which is a recipe I got from my friend Lisa, who got it from her mom, in college. I admit I make the Ricotta Spinach Pie mostly for myself, because it is AWESOME, but other people do enjoy it. Even Hannah likes it - I just tell her it's "cheese pie," conveniently forget to mention that it has a vegetable in it, and she eats it up.

Pumpkin Cake Roll
3 eggs
1 c. white sugar
2/3 cup solid pack pumpkin puree
1 tsp. lemon juice
3/4 c. flour
2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. ground ginger
1 c. chopped pecans (optional, but definitely better with)

Filling:
1 c. powdered sugar
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1/4 c. butter
1/2 lb. (8 oz.) cream cheese

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a jellyroll pan (large cookie sheet, with sides).
2. In a mixing bowl, beat eggs on medium to high for 5 minutes. Gradually add white sugar, pumpkin, and lemon juice. Add flour, cinnamon, salt, baking powder and ginger. Spread batter evenly in pan. Sprinkle with pecans on top and press lightly into batter.
3. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes, or until it springs back when touched. Loosen edges with a knife. Turn out onto a dishtowel that has been sprinkled with powdered sugar. Roll up cake and let cool for about 20 minutes.
4. To make filling: Mix powdered sugar, vanilla, butter and cream cheese together until smooth.
5. When pumpkin roll is cool, unroll and add filling. Re-roll and wrap with foil. Refrigerate until serving.

Ricotta Spinach Pie
1 refrigerated pie crust (Pillsbury is my favorite)

Filling:
10-oz. pkg. frozen, chopped spinach, thawed and drained
1 egg
16-oz container ricotta cheese
8 tbsp. grated parmesan cheese
1/4 c. flour
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
Salt and pepper
1 tbsp. butter

Stir all filling ingredients EXCEPT the butter together and put into the pie shell (a 9-in. pie pan works best). Sprinkle more parmesan over the top; cut up the 1 tbsp. butter into small pieces and dot the top of the pie with it. Bake at 350 degrees for about 50 min. to 1 hr. until top is golden brown.

It's really better to make the Pumpkin Cake Roll the night before you plan to serve it, because it gives the filling plenty of time to set.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The most un-vacationy vacation day

So, it's 1:07 p.m. on a Tuesday, and I'm at home...on a "vacation day" to do homework. On one hand, that's about the most pathetic thing ever. On the other hand, I am getting a lot done, and I think that if I could have Mythbusters running in the background at work I would get more done there, too. Also, it helps if no one calls you and you're not obligated to answer your emails.

I was inspired to schedule this unrelaxing day after realizing that I only have, like, two classes left before I have all these big projects due, and I have really turned into a slacker this semester so I haven't been paying a lot of attention to schoolwork. (Brock is quite proud of me for this, and gave me a high-five for finally acting "normal" about school.)

Anyway, I spent the morning combing through dozens of sources for my fabulous paper on launching Oreo cookies in India. The good news is that my greatest fear has not yet come true - I haven't found any evidence that Kraft already did this, thus making my paper completely irrelevant. So I think I'm okay. And I typed up my reference list already, so that part is done. AND my literature review is already done...so really I only have 13 more pages to crank out, plus a presentation, by Dec. 6. The bad news is that I do actually need to have a big idea about how to launch Oreo cookies in India, but that, so far, has not happened.

The afternoon is dedicated to the project for my other class, which is about revitalizing the Taster's Choice instant coffee brand. I think if I can get my backgrounder done this afternoon, I'll be pleased. I'm less worried about this project because all the assignments for class have fed into it, so I'm much further along than I am on the Oreo thing.

Perhaps I should eat some Oreos for inspiration. I'm not drinking Taster's Choice because I don't even like coffee. ;)

I did go to Taco Bell for lunch, one of my all-time favorite indulgences when I am stressed out, and I'm amazed at how good my mood is after three hard-shell Taco Supremes. I don't know why or how, but Taco Bell has the best sour cream anywhere, and it makes me happy.

Okay, clearly I am procrastinating...time to get back to homework. Besides, I have to call into work for a phone conference at 2:30 (I told you this was the most un-vacationy vacation day)...

Yes we can!

And yes we did.

Tonight, I am proud to be an American. Way to go, America. Way to go.

Election excitement

Full disclosure: I have a minor in Political Science and did my college internship with the State of Indiana, so I am a bit of a political junkie. At least, more so than most people. Even though I find it harder to keep up with the big campaign stories as my life gets fuller and fuller of other things (work, school, husband, kid, Heroes, etc.), election night has always been a special night for me - and the upcoming election feels absolutely, once-in-a-lifetime historic.

I am planning on eating a lot of snacks, and not going to bed until I find out who the President-elect is. I understand this means I might not actually go to bed...and I also understand I might just have to give up and crash at some point. But I'm going to try! While the presidential election is obviously the big story for all of us, it's pretty much the only story here - Barack Obama is from Illinois, of course, and also the races for the other offices affecting our district are pretty uninteresting (I think both our state representative and Congressman will be re-elected fairly easily).

I'm planning to go vote at 6:30 a.m. on Tuesday. The polls open at 6, so theoretically I could go earlier, but I don't think it's actually possible. Brock said he thought if I showed up to vote in my polka-dot pajamas, they might question my mental capacity to cast a ballot. *chuckle* So I'm going as early as I can and hoping for the best. I do think there will be lines (hooray - that means more people will be voting!), but hopefully not that long that early in the morning. Also, we vote at a school, and normally if I try to go before work, I get there during drop-off time and have to park a block away because you can't actually get anywhere near the door to the school...and the jam-up of cars is awful because a bunch of stressed-out moms are trying to get their kids to school and themselves to work.

Normally I would say, "I don't care who you vote for - just vote." But this time I don't really believe that. I feel like the outcome of this election is utterly essential for the righting of our country (and I don't mean "moving right"), and I am horribly nervous that too many people will vote the way I don't want them to vote. (If you read this blog at all, ever, you know I am totally voting for Obama.)

The thing that has disappointed me so much about this campaign is that, prior to it, I was something of a fan of John McCain. I thought he was a pretty cool guy, with an independent streak that seemed to take him in the right direction (campaign finance reform, anti-torture, etc.). He's a war hero, for pete's sake, so I thought he knew what he was talking about when it came to national defense. Also, he's funny, and in his several appearances on The Daily Show I always thought he came off smart, with a clever sense of humor. Four years ago, when I was so impressed with Barack Obama's speech at the Democratic National Convention, Brock actually said to me, "What if he's running against McCain in 4 years? Who will you vote for?" And I said, first, "It'll never happen," and then, "I really don't know." So I was actually really looking forward to the showdown between him and Obama, as I thought it would be full of really stimulating discussions that would make us all better-informed and provide lots of food for thought.

So the thing I hate is that I feel like John McCain, who I used to think was a cool guy that I might have even considered voting for, totally sold out. First, he hired a bunch of the same doofuses who did such a hack job on him in the 2000 election (which, by the way, was horrible, and those people should be ashamed of themselves). Then, he started moving right on all kinds of stuff he'd previously had a different opinion about (stem-cell research, for example). Then, he picked a completely unqualified running mate, and in my opinion, he did it only because she's a woman and he wanted to attract those disgruntled Hillary voters - which is completely the wrong kind of affirmative action.

(Sidebar: if he was dead-set on picking a woman, I can't believe there weren't any better-qualified options than Sarah Palin. I mean, really. It's a bit insulting to me as a woman that this is the best we could do. What about Elizabeth Dole? She seems to have her act together, even though apparently her latest campaign ads for Senate are way out of line.)

I just feel like, at some point, John McCain just decided that darn it, he really wanted to win, and he would do whatever it took to win, and screw everything else (like principles). That really disappoints me, because one of the things I've always liked about him is that I felt like he said what he really thought about things. I don't think he's been doing that in this campaign - which makes me nervous, because I think one of two things could happen IF he wins. One is that he'll get into office and turn into the old John McCain, which would make me feel somewhat better (though still completely depressed), but would probably cheese off all the right-wingers who voted for him. The other is that he'll keep taking advice and guidance from these dorks who are running his mess of a campaign, and we'll be even worse off than we already are. Neither of those is very good - one says he's completely unpredictable and the other says he's under the influence of bad advisors.

That's why I'm not voting for him. I know that if Barack Obama wins, he won't be able to do all the stuff he says he's going to do (no President can ever do all the stuff he says he's going to do while he's campaigning, but he has to say it...I mean, who would vote for a guy who said, "You know, I'd love to solve the health care crisis in this country, but frankly, folks, I don't think it can be done in four years"?). He'll probably disappoint me somehow. But I truly believe that, overall, he's a steadier presence in a time that calls for a steady presence, and that he's still idealistic enough to believe things can be better and he can help make them that way.

So really, go vote. If there's a line, wait through it. And think really, really hard about whom you're supporting, because in this election, more than any other in my lifetime at least, it really, really matters.

Baby shower recipes

I've been meaning to post these for a few days, but it's been rather busy to say the least. And Friday night, I was so tired from the week that I fell asleep at 8:30. *chuckle*

Anyway, the baby shower menu seemed to be a great success, so I thought I would share the recipes I used. I'm sharing the recipes in their original quantities; I multiplied the amounts several times over to feed the big crowd we had here on Tuesday!

Tomato Basil Sauce
This is adapted from a Rachael Ray recipe. The only difference is that she uses 20 leaves of fresh basil and I only had dried. I made three times this amount for the shower, but I think this recipe would easily serve 6 to 8.

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
1 (28-0z.) can crushed tomatoes
1 (14-oz.) can diced tomatoes, drained
Salt and pepper
About 1 1/2 tablespoons dried basil

Heat a medium pot on the stove over medium heat. Add extra-virgin olive oil, garlic and onion. Let onions cook with garlic slowly over 15 minutes. Be careful not to brown the onions; just keep an eye on the heat and stir the onions frequently. After 15 minutes, stir in tomatoes and raise heat to medium-high. Season with salt and pepper. Stir in basil and heat through. Serve over pasta.

Parmesan Cream Sauce
This is adapted from an Emeril recipe. If you want the original, go here. Supposedly it serves 4, but I have doubts; it's not that much sauce. I made 6 times this much for the shower, but I did have a lot of leftovers.

6 tablespoons unsalted butter (I only doubled this for the huge amount I made; it's a lot of butter)
1 shallot, minced
1 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup finely grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese (although I think it would probably work okay with fresh grated regular parmesan...)
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. ground black pepper

Melt butter in a medium sauce pan over medium-high heat. Add shallots and sautee until tender. Add cream and bring to a boil. Cool until sauce has reduced slightly, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in cheese until melted and well-blended. Serve over pasta.

Pasta Bar
Tomato Basil Sauce
Parmesan Cream Sauce
Grilled chicken, sliced
Cooked shrimp
Sauteed veggies: green, red and yellow peppers; mushrooms; red onion
Bow-tie pasta
Whole grain penne pasta
Parmesan cheese
Mixed green salad with croutons and various dressings
Dinner rolls

Dutch Apple Pie
I have had this recipe since approximately 9th grade, when I learned it in Mrs. Stephen's Foods class. I made it the first time Brock came to my house for dinner when we were 15. We weren't far enough in our relationship yet for him to tell me he didn't like apple pie, so I just assumed he didn't like MY apple pie. *chuckle* But Hannah likes this one.

Pie crust (I use Pillsbury refrigerated pie crusts)
4 c. sliced Granny Smith apples
1/2 c. sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
3/4 c. flour
1/3 c. soft butter
1/2 c. sugar

Place pie crust in 9-in. pie pan and flute the edges. Heap apples in crust. Mix 1/2 c. sugar and cinnamon; sprinkle over apples. Make a crumb mixture of the sugar, flour and butter. Sprinkle evenly over the sugar-cinnamon mixture, covering the apples completely. Bake at 375 degrees for 50 min. or until bubbly and brown. (Extra-good when served warm with ice cream, but tastes good cold, too.)

Punch
Brock's mom introduced me to this. I have no idea what to call it, but it was a very big hit at the party. Double it for a crowd.

2 liter bottle of Canada Dry Ginger Ale
Country Time Lemonade Mix (measured to the top line in the cap)

Be careful when you mix it together, because the reaction is rather explosive. :)

I also made Garlic Onion Cheese Dip with crackers.

And finally, I had a LOT of leftover dinner rolls. I just baked the Pillsbury frozen dinner rolls, and after a couple of days we still had several left and they were starting to go stale. So yesterday I made bread pudding with them - and they made GREAT bread pudding. So here's that recipe.

Bread Pudding
Hannah really loved this.

4-5 c. soft bread crumbs (just tear up whatever bread you have)
2 c. milk, scalded with 1/4 c. butter
1/2 c. sugar
2 eggs, beaten
1/4 t. salt
1 t. cinnamon
1 c. chopped apple (I usually use apple instead of raisins, but just use raisins if that's what you prefer)

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Place bread crumbs in 1 1/2 or 2-qt. baking dish. Blend in remaining ingredients - start with the milk, because it helps make room for the other things. Place baking dish in 9x13 pan of hot water, about 1 in. deep. Bake 40-45 minutes or until knife inserted 1 in. from the edge of the pan comes out clean. (If you have a good glaze recipe, feel free to use it.)

I love good food!

A success!

The baby shower went great! Dinner was ready on time...people had fun...Jen got lots of great presents...and Hannah had a terrific time entertaining everyone. Everyone fit in the house, and we had plenty of food. And it's only 10:30 and I have all the dishes done, and everything cleaned up. I am rather proud I pulled it off. :)

La di da di, we likes to party

I can't remember what song that's from, but it seems to me it's from sometime in the 80s. *chuckle*

Anyway, tomorrow is a big day at our house because I am hosting a baby shower for my friend Jen, who is due to have a baby girl in January. I really love my friend Jen, and when she told me she was pregnant one of the first things I said was, "I want to host a baby shower for you at my house." See, we work together, and I thought it would be nice to have all the women we work with over for dinner - which is a bit nicer than standing around our office just eating cake.

So, 25 people are coming over tomorrow. I think our house can handle it, but it's a bit bigger crowd than I originally anticipated when I had this brilliant idea. ;)

Also, I am cooking. I wanted to cook from the beginning, because I like cooking - especially for parties. I think good food is one of the great uniting forces in the world. But I've also never cooked for 25 people before, so hopefully we don't run out. We're having a pasta bar (two kinds of pasta, two kinds of sauce, veggies, chicken and shrimp) and then people are bringing bunches of desserts and appetizers (I made one of each, but I'm not crazy enough to try to do all the desserts and appetizers by myself, too). Tonight I made more pasta sauce than I have ever made in my life. Our refrigerator is literally full of pasta sauce...to the point where, when I was looking for something in the fridge this evening, Brock said, "It's behind the sauce," and we both cracked up. I also made apple pie, garlic onion dip, cooked 2.75 lbs. of chicken and chopped a LOT of vegetables.

I'm very excited to have this party, though - I think it will be really fun, and as long as everyone fits in the house and we don't run out of food, I'll be happy. :)

And now, as it is midnight and I have to get up and go to work early in the morning to get ready for 5 1/2 straight hours of meetings...I am going to bed.

Note, if you are coming to the shower: I didn't get around to sweeping the porch. So that's just too bad. Try not to notice the leaves and cobwebs. Also, I think I got the chicken a bit dry, but if you put a lot of sauce on it, I'm sure it will be fine. :)

7 things about me

Thanks to Vic for tagging me! Here are 7 things about me you probably don't know:

1) One of the reasons I'm glad Vic tagged me is that I like talking about myself. I know that's supposed to be a bad thing, but it's true. I like talking to other people about themselves, too...but I am a sucker for those emails where you fill out four jobs you've had or what you eat for breakfast or whatever, and then send it on to all your friends. I know no one cares what I eat for breakfast, but there's something fun about writing down things like that. (For the record, this morning I had oatmeal mixed with granola, brown sugar, cinnamon and dried cranberries - a concoction of my own creation that I call "oatnola.")

2) I do not keep liquor in my house. This is because I like it very much, especially vodka, and I am concerned about the possibilities if I had easy access to it all the time. Because I am a comfort eater, I think it stands to reason I would be a comfort drinker, so it's just better not to tempt myself.

3) The top 4 days in my life have been the day I got engaged, my wedding, the birth of my daughter, and when the Indianapolis Colts won the Super Bowl. The 5th best day in my life will be when Barack Obama wins the presidency. I'm excited for that.

4) I harbor a secret desire to be a stand-up comedian. I won't ever, ever do it, and in fact have never tried, but it's the fantasy job I go to in my mind when my real job really gets on my nerves. Of course, since this is not grounded in reality, in my daydreams I am already wildly successful as a comedian and also never have to travel. :)

5) I think I might only want one kid. I am just so incredibly happy with the amazing one I have, and I really, right now, feel absolutely no desire to expand our family further. (Sorry, parents.) Also, I strongly doubt my ability to handle any more kids - it would require seriously compromising the attention I can give to my husband and my career, and I'm really not thrilled about that prospect. The poor cats are already getting the shaft. This is not to say that I wouldn't adapt if modern medicine should happen to fail me.

6) I have devolved in my organizational skills. I used to be hyper-organized. Now I can't really face filing. Brock does all of it at home, and at work I only do it when the piles of paper on my desk get to the point where I can't remember what's in them. I also haven't balanced our checkbook in approximately 4 years, or maybe more, because banking online is awesome. But Brock handles that too. I never keep receipts. My email inboxes (both personal and work) are muddled disasters of old messages that I will never use, but they're so out of control that it would take too much time to clean them up. I hate this about myself. But I also have to let some stuff go.

7) I am really proud that we moved out of Indiana and are making a life for ourselves here. I will always love the place I grew up, but I really love my home now, too. And when I think about the fact that we moved here when we were 22 and didn't know anybody at all, I am amazed at what we've done since then. I can't believe it never occurred to me to be nervous about moving away from everyone we knew. Now I would be absolutely terrified to move, but I can't really think of anywhere I'd rather live, either.

That's it from me. Now, I tag Robin and Brock to talk about themselves on their blogs, too! This is fun!

OhmyGodyouguysNKOTBwasAWESOME!

I wrote the title of the post that way in hopes you would read it really fast and squealy, kind of like a preteen girl would say it. Because that's totally how I was feeling on Saturday night at the New Kids on the Block concert.

In short: I screamed my fool head off and had a fantastic time. My friend Lisa came up from Indiana for the show and spent two hours laughing at me screaming my fool head off, especially when I yelled, "I love you, Joey!" at the top of my lungs. But I meant it. And I'm sure he heard me. Besides, we went with three other girls, and at least one of them was screaming her fool head off, too. So it wasn't just me.

They sounded good. They looked great. Our seats were perfect. And I had a completely crappy week at work, so I needed something ridiculous and fun, and finding out I remembered every lyric to songs I hadn't even heard in almost 20 years was just what the doctor ordered. :)

Seriously...who can't get into some Hangin' Tough? Who doesn't want to scream like a maniac when their favorite group from childhood is on stage and actually sounding good, and dancing just like they did in 1990 (hello, penguin dance from The Right Stuff!)? Who doesn't think Joey McIntyre is SMOKIN' HOT?

I had the BEST time. I was a little hoarse after the concert and I didn't care. I laughed. I swooned. I danced. I waved my hands in the air like I just didn't care. I sang every word to every song at the top of my lungs. And I wasn't even drunk (unlike this girl in front of us, who came back after last call going, "You guys, THERE IS NO MORE ALCOHOL. THERE IS NO MORE ALCOHOL"...something that certainly did not happen the last time I saw NKOTB...)!

Here are some photo highlights.

Here is my ticket (that lovely background is one of our placemats...I could have cropped it out but just didn't feel like it):

This is a blurry camera phone picture of the main stage. They're singing and dancing there, but you can't see them because stage lighting is not nice to camera phones:


And this is a blurry camera phone picture of when they were on their "second stage," which was a little turntable thing in the middle of the crowd. If I had been next to them, I think I would have peed my pants. Or perhaps I would have tried to grope Joey McIntyre:

NKOTB forever, baby. I wish I could have gone back again the next night to see them. LOVE THEM.

Don't rain on my nostalgia parade, either. I won't have it. Any malicious comments will not be approved. But I can totally take good-natured teasing. I probably deserve it. :)

Okay, fine, I admit it

I am totally psyched for the New Kids on the Block concert on Saturday. I am. I can't wait. I know I am being a total dork, and that I am not 10 anymore, but neither are these guys:Quite simply, they are hot. And we're all legal now, which makes loving them rather odd - unlike when I was actually 10, and the furthest my imagination would stretch was holding hands, perhaps kissing on the beach, and then having an amazingly extravagant wedding at which all my friends would be jealous that I was marrying Joey and they weren't. And then I would go on tour with NKOTB as their bass guitarist, and all the screaming fans would be jealous that I was married to Joey and they weren't, and I would have to have private security because of all the death threats. Nevermind that I was 10, don't like the beach, and also never learned to play the bass guitar. And didn't have a chance of marrying Joey McIntyre. (Note to Brock: I think things turned out okay anyway.)

I have been listening to their new CD, The Block, in the car on a continuous loop for about three weeks. That is, when Hannah's not in the car, because these are not the NKOTB of yore - most of the song themes are not kid-friendly. This is because the Kids are not kids anymore, either...and I daresay their imaginations grew up the same way mine did. I, however, would not sing about some of this stuff on a CD my mom was probably going to listen to. Or I would just tell her not to listen to it. There's really no bad language, but I also don't want my three-year-old singing this, either.

Anyway, I am in no position to judge whether the CD is any good. I enjoy it, and only have to skip a couple of songs (I know we're all adults now, but there are just some things I cannot listen to my beloved New Kids sing. I have my limits, and I need to preserve a little bit of the innocent puppy love I had for them ca. 1988). I thought I would try to critically evaluate the songs, but the fact is that it just takes me back to a much simpler time in my life, before I realized that it does no good to dream of marrying Joey McIntyre, and I would have probably loved listening to the CD even if it was terrible. (For the record, I think it's actually pretty good. I just don't know if I'm objective enough to state that it is pretty good.)

So I am totally going to see them in concert on Saturday night. Unlike when I was 11, I will drive myself to the concert, and I will be meeting up with some girlfriends at a bar beforehand (don't worry, I will drink responsibly). Also unlike when I was 11, my friend Julie's mom will not have made sandwiches for us all to eat after the show (big shout out to Julie's mom, who deserves some kind of award for taking a bunch of insane preteens to a New Kids concert - especially when we had lawn seats and had to get there hours early to wait in line). However, just like when I was 11, I will probably scream myself hoarse.

Unlike when I was 11, my husband will be waiting to laugh at me when I come home. :)

Homework. Meh.

I am four weeks into the school year, which means that homework is now starting to pile up in earnest. There's reading. There are projects to start working on. (My professor yesterday had the nerve to ask if anyone "was encountering any issues" in working on our final projects - which are not due until December. The issue I'm encountering is having professors who think you might actually work on a project that's not due for three more months this far in advance. Who has time for that??)

My project topics this semester are...if not quite interesting, at least intriguing. One is to "reinvigorate" the Taster's Choice brand. The other is to market Oreos to people in India. While "Oreos to India" sounds like some misguided relief program, I think it will be really interesting to learn more about Indian culture and marketing segments; figuring out how to get them to purchase a cookie (although it is admittedly a delicious cookie) is kind of secondary for me.

The Taster's Choice thing is in another world entirely, as I think the idea of the project is really cool, but having to work on a brand I've never even tried (and won't, as I don't drink coffee!) is turning out to be really challenging. I'm having a hard time paying attention to it. I am drawing heavily on my first semester of grad school, where I had to work very hard to care about Gain laundry detergent, which I had also never tried before. I have since tried it, as I bought two bottles to use as visual aids for my presentation, but a year later I haven't even finished the second bottle. If I end up buying Taster's Choice to use as a visual aid, I have no idea what I will do with it - because everyone I've told about this project has said, "Wow, they still make Taster's Choice?"

I guess the upside is that I could be a hero to Nescafe and give them the blueprint for bringing Taster's Choice back from wherever it's been since the 1990s.

I'm rambling because I'm avoiding the draft of my situation analysis. Must go do real work now. :)

I hate sand flies

Last week, I attended my company's annual sales meeting on a lovely island on the Gulf side of Florida. There were palm trees, and thankfully no hurricanes. Despite the warning signs posted all over the place we were staying, I did not encounter any alligators. And they have lizards the way we have squirrels here in the upper Midwest, which was kind of a fun change. I like lizards.

But they have sand flies, also called no-see-ums, also called by me the Most Evil Insects on the Planet, and that's coming from someone who is allergic to mosquito bites and has often said that the question of their existence would be the most important question I could ask God.

I have now had dozens and dozens of sand fly bites for more than a week. They have not changed at all in this time. They look the same as they did when I got them. They are as itchy as they were when I got them. And I'm starting to worry about the effect of what I feel is probably an unreasonable amount of Benadryl accumulating in my system. Benadryl is the only thing that makes them bearable, so I have been taking two to three pills every single day for a week (I didn't have any Benadryl with me on the trip and no way to get any, or I would have started popping antihistamines even sooner).

So...if anybody has any ideas for what to do to make these horrible things go away - or any convenient excuses I can give the next time someone tells me I have to travel anywhere near a beach - please let me know. Itchy legs make me really cranky. And I have enough other stuff going on in my life to make me cranky (like the homework I am not doing while I write this post), so eliminating even one source of crankiness would be most welcome.

Dip it - dip it good

At work, I am becoming somewhat famous for my dip recipes. Once a month, we have "birthday day," when everyone in the department brings in food to celebrate whomever's birthday falls that month. (Luckily, every month has at least one birthday in it.) Then we just eat all day and compare recipes. It's excellent for morale. :)

Anyway, I'm becoming known for dips because usually about all I can muster the night before birthday day is stirring. I would love to bake or make something more complicated for my lovely coworkers, but this is life. So pretty much every month, I bring dip. Sometimes I really take the shortcut and just throw a mix in some sour cream and call it a day. But occasionally I put in a little extra effort.

That said, here are my three favorite birthday day dip recipes. The first one on the list is one I just tried for the first time today, and it was super good.

Garlic Onion Dip
Adapted from Simple & Delicious magazine (I think!)
2-8 oz. pkgs. cream cheese, softened
3 green onions, green parts only, chopped
2 strips cooked and crumbled turkey bacon
3 tbsp. apricot preserves
1 tsp. minced garlic
Dash of pepper

Really good on whole wheat crackers.

Spicy Avocado Dip
From kraftfoods.com; EVERYONE loves this one, and it makes a lot
2 medium avocados, mashed
16 0z. sour cream
1/4 cup chopped green onions (about 4-5 onions)
1 envelope ranch dressing mix
1 tbsp. lime juice (I just squeeze half a lime without trying very hard)
1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper

This is good on everything - veggies, Wheat Thins, other crackers...but it's the best on blue corn chips.

Salsa Onion Cheese Dip
I think I made this one up.
16 oz. sour cream
1 envelope onion soup mix
About 1/2 cup salsa
About 1/4 cup shredded cheddar jack cheese

The best on Fritos Scoops...but works on other chips and veggies, too.

I would rather eat chips and dip than cake. I know that's weird, but I can back this up - because there's always cake on birthday day, and I hardly ever eat it because I'm full of chips and dip.

It's come to this

This is what I had for dinner:


Please allow me to explain how this came to be. This was my day today:

• Get up only 15 minutes late, which is a big improvement over the 30-40 minutes I usually waste trying to convince myself to get out of bed, especially now that it is totally dark at 5:30 in the morning again.
• Get ready for work.
• Go wake Hannah up, who says, "I just want to lay here and cover up and close my eyes." Totally agree with Hannah but make her get out of bed anyway.
• Manage to get Hannah ready, toast her breakfast and go wake Brock up.
• Finish getting dressed for work while Brock brushes Hannah's teeth and puts her shoes on.
• Lug bunch of stuff out to car.
• Come back for Hannah. Drop at daycare very late, like 7:45, despite "early" start to the day.
• Get to work at 8:20. Supposed to be at work at 8:00, but never happens.
• Turn on computer. Get coffee (frappucino, actually).
  
• Drink coffee while spending an hour and a half combing through 226 (no kidding) unread emails. Do not read all emails. Feel annoyed at email culture.
• Go to meetings from 10 to noon.
• Go for sushi with friend. (High point of work day, to be sure. Spicy tuna rolls are awesome.)
• Go to meeting from 2 to 3.
• Try to get work done from 3 to 4. Not very successful.
  
• Go for performance review with boss at 4:00. Boss is stuck in other meeting. Wait 15 minutes for boss to show up. Realize that review is going to last past 5:00 now, which starts customary "I will be late picking Hannah up from daycare" panic.
• Have very nice review. Learn that I possibly laugh too much (I do have a tendency to laugh all the time, which I suppose does make it sound like I think what I just said was a joke - even though I've always thought it was charming and disarming), but am otherwise quite capable, well-respected and doing a good job. Need to work on establishing strategy, which is part of the new job and was not part of the old one. All in all, pretty good.
• Get out of review at 5:20. Get to car, in the steady rain, at 5:25. Realize I will probably be late picking Hannah up, and if I'm not, she will for sure at least be the last kid at daycare. Again.
• Deal with slow, annoying drivers for 34.5 minutes. Pull into daycare at approximately 5:59:30 and race to door in continuing rain.
• Feel very happy to see Hannah, who's happy to see me.
• Drive home. Get call from Brock that he has to work late and will not be home till after 9:00.
• Realize that there is not enough time to make the taco casserole I'd planned to make with Hannah this evening.
• Give up and get fish sticks and Smiles out of the freezer. Realize we eat a lot of meals that can be dipped in ketchup. But it has been a long time since we had Smiles, and Hannah likes them, and they are tasty. We like our dinner even if it's sort of ridiculous for a grown-up to eat fish sticks and shaped potatoes.
  
• Give Hannah bubble bath. Fun. :)
  
• Watch Dr. Jiggle & Mr. Sly episode of Veggie Tales TV show on DVR with Hannah. Sing along to "The Hole in the Bottom of the Sea" at the end.
  
• Get Hannah to brush teeth.
• Read two stories, Color Kittens and Goodnight, Little Bear, both of which are really old Little Golden Books and also kind of annoying after the 87th reading. But still enjoyable because Hannah likes them.
• Sort laundry. Start washer, only to realize that there is still a load of laundry sitting in the washer from two days ago that needs to be dried.
• Put laundry in dryer. Put more laundry in washer.
• Blog instead of doing reading for school, which started last week.

So...it's been kind of a crazy day. A "fish sticks and shaped potatoes" kind of day.

GO-bama!

You guys, we have GOT to elect this man. We've just GOT to.

Obama's acceptance speech was fantastic. Even the Republican operative/contributing analyst on NBC said as much. (And then we stopped listening to analysts, because they are generally annoying, and I'd rather just formulate my own thoughts.)

I have so many favorite lines: "Eight is enough!" "Change doesn't come from Washington; change goes to Washington." "America, we are better than these last eight years. We are a better country than this." It didn't make me cry the way his "This is the moment" speech in June, but it made me happy and hopeful. And it was really wonderful to feel that way.

His speech was smart, tough and inspiring. I think he's smart, tough and inspiring. More than 80,000 people showed up just to hear the guy talk. We've GOT to elect him.

File this under "that figures"

On Monday, I bought myself flowers for the first time ever.

On Tuesday, buckets of dozens of free bouquets of cutflowers showed up where I work.

Not that I'm really complaining...I just find it funny.

Flowers

One more thing - to combat my crabbiness, I bought myself flowers for the first time ever today. I happen to live with a lovely person who quite often buys/sends me flowers - much more often than my friends' husbands seem to send them flowers. And he usually sends them to me at work, where I have to pick them up from the reception desk and then carry them all through the building back to my desk, while people stop me and ask me who sent me flowers and why, and comment about how pretty the flowers are and that their husbands/partners/significant others never send them flowers. This, overall, makes me feel even more loved and spoiled than one might typically feel when receiving flowers.

However, today I bought a $5 bouquet of the sunniest, cheeriest yellow cut mums at Target all for myself, and I would highly recommend it. I totally cheered up just looking at their happy yellow color. Than Hannah and I brought them home and I cut the stems way down and stuffed them in this cool purple vase that I have, and the combo of the bright yellow flowers bursting out of the purple vase was somehow even cheerier.

I got my money's worth. :)

A thankful heart is a happy heart

So, the title of this post is a song that's in the Madame Blueberry episode of Veggie Tales. It's a lesson about being thankful for what you have.

After several viewings of this episode, and having the aforementioned song stuck in my head for days and days and days, I have decided to actually listen to it. This is because I have been super-crabby about work for the past few days. (I think I have done a good job controlling the crabbiness outside of work.)

Suffice it to say that my work life is changing again and, after just taking my new job a couple of months ago, my responsibilities are shifting a bit. Although the logical part of my brain sees that there may be some good opportunities lurking in this situation, the illogical part of my brain would just like things to stay the same for 5 minutes so I have a chance to get good at what I'm doing without having to add more new stuff on top of new stuff. That's the part of my brain that's been making me crabby for the past week.

So I have decided to try very hard to be like Madame Blueberry, and be thankful for what I have: a good job at a company that's been around a long time (not to mention the wonderful non-work things I have, like my awesome family and good friends and a nice roof over my head). This is not to say I have totally banished the crabbiness, but my hope is that it will help my attitude recover a bit.

Also, I realized that school starts next week. Instead of panicking, I am also trying very hard to be thankful that I have the means to advance my education and learn new things.

I don't think this rosy view will last very long, as I am cynical and sarcastic by nature, but at least I'm making an effort here.

I am still not, however, thankful for what I have to go do now, which is work on my budgets for the next fiscal year. I just can't be thankful for budgeting. It is one of my least favorite things.

But I'm thankful for everything else. Really.

The Dark Knight according to a clown-phobe

I did it. I went to see The Dark Knight. I know I said I wasn't going to see it in the theater, but a few factors were at play here. One was, we had babysitters available on Saturday night and we wanted to take advantage of that. Another was, just about everyone I know has seen the movie and I was really starting to feel left out. And the last one was, Brock told me he thought I could handle it, and that he didn't think my clown phobia was necessarily as debilitating as I might portray. (It's true that I don't generally run screaming from clowns, but they do freak me out pretty severely; still, he thought I would be okay and promised to warn me as much as possible about parts where I might want to cover my eyes.)

So, here is my review of The Dark Knight, from a clown-hater's perspective:

• Heath Ledger is the best Joker ever. And he really didn't frighten me much from a clown perspective - partially because I just kept telling myself it was Heath Ledger under all that makeup. Also, he was just a scary character, and would have been whether or not he was in creepy makeup. That was one really bad Bad Guy - the scariest kind of bad guy, who's not motivated by anything other than wanting to create chaos.
• I did spend a LOT of time hiding from clown masks, though. (There are three things I'm really afraid of: clowns, masks and storms. This movie had two out of three.) I felt like I missed a lot of the movie because of it. Brock was really good about warning me when I might not want to watch, but I felt like that happened pretty often.
  
• Two-Face actually freaked me out more than anything in the movie. And since he figures prominently in the last quarter of the movie, I didn't watch a lot of it. I listened to it, at least.
• I thought the film, overall, was really excellent. It didn't feel like a comic book movie at all. It just felt like a scary movie about Good vs. Evil and Order vs. Chaos. So I can see why people are saying it's one of the best movies ever. The story was really good, and there was a lot of suspense, and the chase scene through Lower Wacker (called Lower Fifth in the movie) was awesome.
• Speaking of Lower Wacker, it was cool watching the movie and recognizing all the stuff in Chicago.
• The "disappearing pencil trick" was amusing. Disturbing, but amusing.
• Maggie Gyllenhaal was way better as Rachel Dawes than Katie Holmes was. Sorry, Katie.
• Christian Bale is hot.
• It should have an R rating. Brock and I were talking about this, and we're sure it got a PG-13 because there's virtually no bad language and you really don't see a lot of blood or anything. But it's pretty intense and scary. I don't see how anything with that many bombs and fire and scary stuff can NOT be rated R.
  

Overall, I'm glad I saw it. I wouldn't say I enjoyed it entirely, but I did get to see what all the fuss was about and agree that it was deserved. I don't think I need to see it again anytime soon...or maybe ever...because there were just a lot of parts that made me really uncomfortable. But that's just because of my own personal phobias and has nothing to do with the movie. *chuckle* If you don't have a problem with clowns or clown masks, and you're one of the five people on the planet who hasn't seen the movie yet, then you should totally go see it.

If you do have a problem with clowns, just get it on DVD and watch it with someone who's already seen it so they can tell you when to cover your eyes. :)

I HATE storms

Hate them, hate them, hate them. I don't care how old I get, I have come to terms with the fact that I will always be terrified of bad storms. Last year's almost-tornado experience didn't help this; in fact, I think it probably made it worse, because now I kind of know what I'm really up against. And tonight we've had bad storms.

So tonight, Brock is stuck in D.C. because his flight home to Chicago was canceled (see: bad storms above). And we've had tornado warnings and sirens going off and everything, and it's just me and Hannah. And when the most calm person in your house is the 3-year-old, you have a problem.

I have to say I think I did a pretty good job faking calm. We just went and played in the basement for an hour or so, and Hannah had a delightful time. She just kept saying, "Wow, it's pretty stormy outside, huh?" She totally didn't care at all. Why can't I be like that? I was a basket case. I'm quite impressed with her.

Despite my inner panic, I'm actually pretty impressed with me, too. I don't think Hannah had any idea how scared I was when the sirens went off.

I HATE storms. Hate them. I hope they're done for the night. We're down to a "severe thunderstorm watch" now, so hopefully things will calm down some.

Work, schmerk

Today was the third day in a row that somebody cheesed me off after 4 p.m., causing me to do additional work that made me NOT leave at 4:30, which is supposed to be our official "quitting time" but really hardly ever is. But today I really wanted to leave at 4:30, and I didn't get to. Leaving anywhere after 4:45 gives me stress about getting to pick Hannah up from daycare in time...leaving at 5:10 makes me positively twitchy. Leaving at 5:20 means she is for sure the last kid at daycare because I can't roll in any earlier than 5:59 (pick up has to be by 6:00).

I used to leave work by 4:45 or so every day. It doesn't work that way anymore - not with the new job. Today I really wanted to leave earlier because we had no food in our house and I wanted to make a mad dash into the store to buy milk (because we were completely out) and something for dinner (because last night we had fish sticks and today we didn't have any other options). It worked out okay - Hannah and I just made a quick trip to the store after I picked her up - but it's frustrating. And I would have been able to leave on time every day since Wednesday if people would just not give me trouble. Argh.

So we finally got home, and Hannah and I had a lovely time making pizza. We had dinner, she got a bath, we watched Veggie Tales and then we read two bedtime stories. My outlook on life was definitely improving. Then I sat down with the computer to do some mindless reading, and my computer won't load any of the blogs I like to read. I can live without most of them, except for Go Fug Yourself. I haven't read it since early this week and it makes me happy, and I was looking forward to the comfort of noting that, even if work bothers me, at least I've never walked out of the house looking half as bad as some of the people on that blog.

So now I'm annoyed again and there's nothing I can do about it, because my tech support is out of town.

Argh.

In memory

I learned this morning that my grandmother passed away yesterday. We weren't at all close, which is something I regret, and I am sadder than I thought I would be now that she's really gone. I thought I had long ago worked through the fact that I wasn't going to have a grandma the same way other people have grandmas, and that when the end did come it would just sort of feel like the final detail in a relationship that wasn't really a relationship at all. But I am sad that things were the way they were.

Still, I've spent the day reflecting on some of the happy memories I do have of my grandma, and even if you didn't know her, these are amusing. And they're a fun way to honor her and to remember that once upon a time, things were different. Here we go:

• To the best of my knowledge, my grandmother invented "stuffed celery," which is raw celery stuffed with a combination of cream cheese, chopped onion, pepper and more salt than seems reasonable. It is one of the great taste sensations of all time, and I believe could be considered one of my grandma's best contributions to society. To this day, it does not feel like Christmas or New Year's to me if I do not have stuffed celery to eat.
  
• Aside from the triumph of stuffed celery, my grandmother was not a very good cook. My dad has great stories about her trying to make mashed potatoes with melted ice cream because she was out of milk, or SPAM sandwiches with that weird jelly stuff still on them. But my own personal memory of my grandma and cooking revolves almost entirely around Jell-O. I hate Jell-O, and really pretty much always have, but she was one of the great supporters of Jell-O's sales figures when I was little. I vividly remember one of her kitchen cabinets was literally filled with boxes of every kind of Jell-O.
• One year, she gave me a kazoo on my sister's birthday (you know, so I wouldn't feel left out). I know my parents were greatly displeased by this, but I thought the kazoo was pretty awesome. I think she may have also been the source of the harmonica I had, but never learned how to play properly. Harmonicas sound horrible if you don't know what you're doing, but they are pleasantly noisy if you're 6.
  
• She was a great beer-drinker. When I was very little I said to her (and I have no idea where I got this notion), "Grandma, ladies don't drink beer." And she laughed and took another pull from the bottle. *chuckle*
• One year she gave my dad pajamas for Christmas. My dad hates pajamas, and I told her so. In front of everyone. From this experience I learned that it sometimes it is better not to say what you're thinking, even if it's true...and this life lesson serves me well to this day.
• Another food-related memory: my grandma's lake cottage is the only place in my life I ever remember having Tang to drink, and it was horrible. On the plus side, though, she would get those little individual-serving boxes of all the super-sugary cereal we never were allowed to have at home, so we got to eat Coco Puffs and Sugar Crisp and whatever that really sweet honey cereal was that had a frog on the box. That was really awesome, especially for a kid from a decidedly Grape Nuts and Cheerios family.

But the very best thing I have to say about my grandmother, and the thing I will always be most grateful to her for no matter what flaws she might have had as a grandmother, is that she gave the world my dad. And that, my friends, is an amazing contribution. :)

KO, baby

We played Wii Boxing tonight...and I doled out two straight knock-outs to Brock. I am the boxing champion of our household! Woo hoo! All I need now is a big gold belt.

I think it was all my kickboxing training. :)

Let's not talk about my bowling, though...I was doing really well, on my way to pro status, and then I bowled three crummy games in a row. Besides, I think Hannah's gotten the highest score of all of us, anyway...

Busy busy busy

The last few of weeks have been pretty crazy. I made it through a very rough week at my new job, in which I was convinced I had made a huge mistake and should just go cry in a corner instead. But I came out on the other side of that, and while I'm still kind of overwhelmed and feel like I don't know which way is up, I'm making incremental progress on some things and am starting to feel like I'm accomplishing something.

I had my first business trip with the new job last weekend. Thankfully, it was short - but it also encompassed Saturday and Sunday, so today is my first real day off in a couple of weeks. Also, I came back from the trip with a stomach bug and spent Tuesday lying on the couch eating crackers, 4 at a time, in shifts of every few hours. What was completely bizarre about it was that exactly 24 hours after I started feeling horrible, I got ravenously hungry and ate tacos. And I've been totally fine ever since. Really weird.

Brock is off with some friends this afternoon seeing The Dark Knight, because I refuse to go see it in the movie theater. At some point, I want to see it because it's supposed to be really good - I told Brock I felt like I'd be missing out on a cultural experience if I didn't eventually watch it - but I can't handle it in the theater. Too many scary clowns. And I'm scared of clowns that aren't even supposed to be scary. So Brock's "screening" it for me and when we do eventually watch it together, it'll be on DVD in the safety of our own home, and he can tell me when I need to hide my face.

Hannah has a cold...which stinks...but this morning at 4:45 when she woke up crying we really thought it might be bronchitis, so we'll take the cold. She's been doing all right today. Dimetapp is helping.

And now...I need to go do some stuff for work. Bleh.

Wii!

We finally got one! Wahoo!

So far we've only played Wii Sports. Hannah's pretty good at bowling. :) I think I'm best at baseball and worst at tennis...Brock seems to be best at golf and bowling.

As soon as my shoulder fully recovers from the rotator cuff injury I suffered last weekend playing boxing on our friend's Wii, I am totally going to use boxing as my new stress relief. It was a better workout than the lame kickboxing class I tried earlier in the summer.

This thing is awesome.

Confessions of a working mom

My new job is insane. It's insane partially because I think that's just how it's going to be, and partially because I am trying to learn it while simultaneously doing my old job (because there's no one else to do it). I had seven meetings today, and there were two times where two meetings overlapped. It's that kind of crazy. I left work late and Hannah was the last kid left at daycare, which doesn't happen often but still makes me feel like a horrible mother when it does. It's been bugging me all evening.

It occurs to me that because I had a child while still on the upward climb of my career, I have set myself up for many years of internal conflict and guilt over pursuing career advancement. I thought I'd already understood it, but with this job I think I've hit the point where it's really going to be something that weighs on me. While my family will always be the most important thing in the world to me, my career is still important, too. I hope that in the long run this will be a really good example for my daughter - that you can do all the things you want to do, and have success in your own right while also being a good wife and mother. But I think the key is marrying well; that is, marrying someone who supports that, and plays an active role in the daily running of the family. I'm lucky my husband supports my ambition, and that he is an active dad who would never, ever refer to spending time with Hannah as "babysitting." But I still have guilt.

The other day, I was talking to one of my friends, who's expecting a baby. I said to her that I felt like the decision to be a working mom is a catch-22: if you stay home, people may undervalue you because you're not "working" and you may feel like you should be doing more (which is a crock); if you work, some will judge your career dedication negatively, and you'll feel guilty for not staying home (also a crock). None of this is fair, but as my mom always said, "Who ever promised fair?" The answer, now as it was when I wanted a Whistle Pop at the grocery store, is "nobody."

I know that I would not be a very good stay-at-home mom. I mean, I'd be okay at it, but I don't think my daughter would be as well-rounded if she were stuck with me all the time. In fact, judging by the few times we've been on our own for a few days when her dad was traveling, I'd say we'd get pretty sick of each other. I've said a million times that she wouldn't know how to do half the stuff she knows how to do, because it wouldn't occur to me to teach her. We're always so impressed when she starts doing something new - and one of us usually says, "Did you know she could do that?" And then we start working with her at home, too...but it takes a little kick in the pants to get us started. I also know I wouldn't be one of those moms who's really good about arranging activities and crafts and things, and I don't think I'd like "mommy & me" classes very much.

At the same time, I wonder about being a working mom and if my drive for success is going to affect Hannah. She's already good about applying the guilt when I travel, and it's awful. It makes me feel selfish - but really, although we certainly need my salary and it helps a lot, the real reason, deep down, that I work is for me. I need it. I need the interaction with people, and the intellectual stimulation, and the ability to feel like I'm accomplishing something that's just mine. I've said before that I was the first person in my family to graduate college, and I went to college for a reason, and that reason was to have a successful career. So I guess it is a bit selfish. But I also think that's probably okay.

What I can't figure out is why there's guilt, anyway. I mean, who ever said I have to be the one to pick up my kid from day care every day? Who said I'm the one who has to get up first in the morning, and get everyone else moving? Who said I'm the one who has to make dinner? Certainly not my husband, who is more than willing and able to share all these responsibilities. Not my parents, both of whom always worked when I was growing up. Even my grandmas worked. Sometimes I think it's a function of moving to a different geographic area, where there seem to be more stay-at-home moms than I ever encountered where I grew up. I don't think I had any friends when I was younger whose moms didn't work. Everybody's mom worked. They had to, and that was that. So you'd think that moms my age would have purged all that guilt and second-guessing, because even their moms worked and they turned out just fine.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I just always feel like I should be doing more.

Sorry to be so pensive. I just needed to get all that out.

Am I a grown-up?

Today I wore a dress to work. I haven't worn (or owned) a dress since approximately my wedding day. I'm not sure why, but for about five years I wouldn't even wear skirts. I think I just decided I was too pale to go without nylons, and nylons just aren't cool. (Sorry, they're just not.) But a few years ago I decided to go back to skirts, and then last weekend I bought a really fabulous summer dress...and so the evolution to Grown-Up Professional Career Woman seems sort of complete.

I even have a hairstyle now - layers, rather than just Long Hair. Wow. Who knew?

Also, I bought shorts for the first time in about five years, too...since shorts that actually have an inseam are back in. Can't do short shorts. Nobody wants to see that. I told my mother I changed out of a dress and into shorts, and I think she about collapsed. *chuckle*

Awww

I was reading the news on CNN and found this photo from a gay marriage ceremony in San Francisco.

I know this won't please some of my readers (not that I have many readers, but you know what I mean), but I think the picture of those two old ladies getting married is the sweetest thing. They're 87 and 84, for pete's sake; who knows how long they've waited to be able to get married? (Edited: Just read another story that says they've been together 55 years. Whoa.) So congratulations to them, and have some cake for me.

And maybe someday the rest of the country will realize we've got much bigger things to worry about than two people who love each other wanting to make their devotion legal. Nuff said.

From princess to mistress

If you happen to view my profile, you may notice that my occupation has been changed from "Princess of PR" to "Mistress of Marketing." This is because I've accepted a new job (a promotion!) at the company where I work. I'm quite excited about trying something new...and about recycling loads and loads of magazines from my cubicle that I'm no longer responsible for keeping. :)

I tried to find another royal title that started with M (to maintain the alliterative value I love so much), but all I could come up with was "Marchioness"...and that's not really very well-known or easy to say. So I went with "Mistress" instead. Perhaps not as regal, but still a lot more interesting than "Manager."

I start "transitioning" to my new job (read: starting my new job while still doing my old one) on Monday. I'm moving cubes, which is sort of sad as I am leaving the Best Cube in the Universe for something decidedly less wonderful, but the upshot is that I am really getting rid of a lot of stuff I never needed to keep in the first place. I have to shed the baggage of the old job so there will be room to accumulate baggage from the new one. *chuckle*

So that's my news. If you want more details, email me and I'll tell you...because this is as much as I'm going to say about work in a public forum!

Bummer

So, one of the things I was REALLY looking forward to after finishing school was being able to go back to kickboxing class. Tonight was the first night. I found out this morning (because I am well-connected) that there's drama going on at the gym, and my regular instructor - who is awesome - was told that her services were no longer needed.

I know of 5 people who dropped out before class even started because of this. (We really love our instructor.) But I thought I'd give it a try, to be fair, and it was disappointingly low-impact. I haven't been to kickboxing for almost four months, and I never even got short of breath. I only stopped twice to take a drink of water. And the class finished 10 minutes early! We used to go 20 minutes over. I think it was probably fine if you'd never done kickboxing before and maybe hadn't worked out in a long time. But it's not enough for me, so I'll be asking for a refund.

Bummer.

Cats can growl

It's true. When they are truly, really, awfully furious beyond recognition, they growl just like dogs. At least, our cat Lewis does.

See, aside from our human kid, we have two feline kids. And I spent two hours at the animal ER with one of those feline kids last night. Poor Lewis. He's a mess. I'll spare you the details, but suffice it to say that there was a great deal of cat vomit going on at our house. Not good for us, not good for our carpet and certainly not good for Lewis.

So the poor guy got shoved in his cat carrier at 8:45 last night, and we drove to the animal ER. He was actually quite calm for the first portion of the visit. He just camped out on the scale (where it was learned he'd lost 3/4 of a pound in just a few days) and even let the nurse take his temperature. If you pause to think about how they take cat temperatures, you will be as amazed as I was at his calm nature.

He had a fever, but they couldn't figure out what was wrong. He got x-rays. Nothing. Then he had bloodwork. Nothing serious, except that he was dehydrated. It was decided that he probably had some sort of infection and they would give him an injection of fluids under his skin, as well as an injections of antibiotics and anti-nausea medication.

That's when it all went downhill. I, sitting alone in the exam room reading Cat Fancy - which, by the way, is the most disturbing magazine I have ever read, but it was the only thing in there other than the Veterinarian's Oath - heard noises coming from the back room that sounded vaguely like a cat might be making them, but not really. I've never heard noises like that. The vet came back in and said, "Okay, he's had enough. We can't handle him anymore." I said, "That was MY cat making those noises??" Poor, poor Lewis. He must have been so mad and confused. They brought him back into the room in his cat carrier, and he was FURIOUS. If there's a level beyond furious, that's what he was. And he growled at me. If I hadn't known better, I'd have thought he was a rottweiler. I felt really bad for him.

Since they were unable to give him injections, they sent us home with antibiotic pills and anti-nausea liquid medicine, with instructions that he shouldn't eat or drink anything for the night. It took us about 30 minutes to get him to take his medicines. Brock swaddled him in a towel and did a full body bind so he couldn't get away, while I pried his mouth open and crammed a pill in approximately 87 times. The liquid was marginally easier. Poor Lewis.

He's eaten a little today and seems to be doing a bit better. His nose is cold again (last night it was warm). So hopefully he's on the mend. Thankfully, Hegemon doesn't seem to have gotten it. We think Lewis might have picked up some germs at the vet's office last week, when we had to take him in for his seasonal allergy shot. (Yeah, he has allergies and asthma, too.)

So, does anybody have any good tips for getting a cat to eat pills?

P.S. There was an article in Cat Fancy about alternative medicine for cats. You'll be interested to know that acupuncture can be beneficial, but you shouldn't pursue chiropractic treatment because cats' frames are too small. Seriously - cat acupuncture? Catupuncture? I really, really love our cats, but that magazine freaked me out. Why have so many specialty breeds of cats when there are thousands and thousands of little mutt kitties who need homes? I don't get it. And I am not getting catupuncture for Lewis...unless maybe it would help his asthma? KIDDING!

BARACK OBAMA!!!!

I just finished watching Barack Obama's speech in Minnesota. It occurs to me:

1) that I may never see another presidential candidate like this in my lifetime.
2) that one day, Hannah is going to ask us about this when she has to write a report for school.
3) that it feels pretty amazing to live through a historic time that's actually positive.
4) that this is the first time I have nearly cried when hearing a presidential candidate speak - because I was inspired, and hopeful, and optimistic, and moved.
5) that I am proud to have voted for this man three times.
6) that I am going to his next campaign event that is anywhere near where we live - and I don't care when it is. I will not miss out on this experience.
7) that Barack Obama is an excellent example of why I always wanted to get into politics - and his rarity is the reason why I didn't do it.
8) that it may be weird to clap and cheer for a political speech while sitting in your living room in your pajamas, but I did it anyway.
9) that this is the first time I've really wanted someone to be president because I believed in him, and not because I just really didn't want the other guy.
10) that I am, for once, extremely proud to be an American.

If he's elected president, Barack Obama certainly won't be able to do everything he wants to do; no president ever can. But he's a once-in-a-lifetime candidate, and he makes me believe things can be better. I'm in awe that I am living through the time in American history when we finally have an African American presidential candidate. I am in awe that it's THIS African American candidate who, even if he were purple, would still be the most inspiring political figure I've ever seen. I feel privileged to be part of this, even if my part is very small.

I can't wait to vote again!

Congratulations Lisa & Sean!

My best pal Lisa had a baby today! Congratulations to her and her husband, Sean, on beautiful little (er, kind of big, 9-lb.) Cameron Delaney!

CaffeineWatch Update

You know, I might kick this caffeine thing.

Day one went very well. Day two (Wednesday) was awful. I got a raging headache in the afternoon and, as anyone who's ever had a caffeine headache knows, there is nothing you can do for a caffeine headache. I really wanted a Coke. But I soldiered on, and I was headache-free for Thursday, Friday and today - and I stuck to my "one caffeinated drink per day" self-imposed rule.

I'm not sure I'm ready to cut back further, though...gotta take this slowly. :)

Alice Cooper had it right

Sing it with me:

Schoooooool's out for summer!

I've been singing that all day, because today was my last day of class! Wahoo! And while I am already sort of regretting the extra time it will take me to finish school because I'm not taking summer classes, I am SO HAPPY I get three and a half months off.

So, congratulations to me (and Brock and Hannah, who had a vested interest) for getting through my first year of grad school. I am 1/3 finished!

And...Saturday we all went to pick up my research report on blog readers (Hannah was excited to see my school). I got 100% on the paper, and my professor encouraged me to submit it for publication to our department's journal. Who knows if it'll get accepted, but I was really excited that she thought it was that good. So...thanks again if you took my survey!

I am pretty sure I'm going to get an A in both of my classes. The research class is a definite, and unless I completely bombed my short final paper and presentation in ethics, I should be okay there too. I was a little miffed that the prof took 4% off my greenwashing paper, because she wrote zero comments on anything other than that I should have used section headings. She never told us we had to have section headings, and anyway, I don't particularly think a lack of section headings is worth 4%. But...I still got an A, after all the heartache (and headaches, and heartburn), so I should probably just be happy, stop trying to be a perfectionist, and get over it. *chuckle*

This means I can start on my list of things to do when school's out. I already ate lunch away from my desk, have been hanging out with my family more, and started making a dent in my magazine pile. Tomorrow I'm going out for sushi (spicy tuna rolls...mmmm). Tomorrow is also going to be the first day of what I'm calling CaffeineWatch 2008, where I try to wean myself off my reliance on caffeinated beverages. For week one of CaffeineWatch 2008, I am going to try to limit myself to one caffeinated drink per day. We'll see how I do.

Also, I might be getting a cold, but I don't even care because...

Schoooooool's out for summer!

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there...including me. :) (I don't think there's anything wrong with giving yourself props for raising a pretty fantastic kid.) Thanks, especially, to my mom for raising me, and to Brock's mom for raising him. You made us both just wacky enough to be perfect for each other. :)

And, especially if you're a mom, check out this blog post on the Cookie magazine website. I just found this one last week, and it does a really good job of explaining why one of my Mother's Day gifts - a day at the spa - is absolutely perfect. Sometimes, moms need to not have to take care of anybody or anything. Time that's all about you becomes this magical reset button that lets you go back to making it all about somebody else with renewed energy.

My family rocks. I'm so glad I get to be a mom, and that I have a husband who appreciates the job I do. He made me a really complicated breakfast just because it's my favorite. How awesome is that?

Damn-delions

This afternoon, after Hannah got up from her nap (bless her for taking one), we went outside. I got it in my head that I wanted to dig up some of the dandelions around the patio. Our yard (front and back) is completely overrun with dandelions. We easily have 8,000 dandelions more than our closest competitor, but we have had zero chance to do anything about our yard this whole spring. It has been hectic. It's really not our fault. Really.

So, I gave Hannah a trowel and set her to work digging in the dirt in the flower bed, which she loved, and I dug up dandelions:

This (one 5-gallon bucket and two 10-inch pots) is just from immediately around our patio. I hate dandelions. But the view from the back door is significantly better now, and I do think it helped clear my head a bit to attack dandelions for an hour or so.

Maybe it's time to re-brand dandelions as a "bright-flowered, vigorous and hardy groundcover" rather than a weed. Then our yard would be the best one on the block rather than the weediest. :)

My new lucky number

14 1/2. That's how many pages are in the draft of my ethics paper. Which is, frankly, close enough to 15 for me.

Breathing again

Okay, because my last post was really whiny and depressing and I don't want everyone to worry about me, I wanted to post again to let everyone know that I got my "second wind" this evening (sans caffeine, even, but probably helped along by the pizza I ordered for dinner - is fat better or worse than caffeine?). I have 11 pages of my paper typed, and only two sections left to go. I am easily going to hit the required 15 pages, and probably even have time to edit the thing so it makes some kind of sense. (I am concerned about the sensibility factor, as most of my work on this has happened after 9 p.m., and let's just say that's not really when I do my best thinking.)

So...I will live. And I will try not to be so dramatic and Sarah Bernhardt-like.

And now, I'm going to bed. At 10:30! Woo!

Breaking down

I finished my Saturday class today. I turned in my magnificent paper on blog readers, got through the final I spent a grand total of three hours studying for, and I am done. I actually feel pretty good about it, but can't really bask in that glory because I still have a massive paper and presentation to do by Monday. I have a take-home final to do after that, but I'm not even thinking about it until Tuesday.

Last night I nearly burst into tears. I have been so stressed, and so sleep-deprived, and things have been so abnormal around here between work and work travel (mine and Brock's) and potty training and whatever else, plus this school ridiculousness, that I am definitely not myself.

This afternoon I'm crashing hard. I overloaded on caffeine this morning (chai when I got up, grande latte from Starbucks on the way to class, Coke at lunch), giving myself a terrific headache. But I did manage to stay awake for class, which was something. The downside is that the caffeine has worn off, and I'm exhausted. And I'm afraid to drink more caffeine. But I have to crank out nine more pages on greenwashing tonight if I am to have any hope of getting stuff actually done, in a reasonably effective way, by Monday.

I think I am going to add "kick my caffeine habit" to the things I want to do when school is over.

And if you're a friend or family member reading this, please don't call me this weekend. Not to be rude or anything, but I really do not have time to talk to people. I barely have time or energy to interact with the people I live with.

Two more weeks...and then school will be over and I'll get a break. And at least I'm done with one class, right?

NKOTB forever!

Brock would like to think he is my first and only love. I hate to break it to him, but as a preteen I actually learned what love was when I carried a flaming torch of passion for these guys:


And oh my gosh, you guys, the New Kids on the Block are back together - for real - and they're going on tour!! I am so going - with a group of at least four other girls who experienced similar love stories at similar ages.

The last time I saw NKOTB, I was about 11. It was my first concert. And I was convinced that Joey McIntyre would somehow pick me out of the crowd (you know, seeing across the thousands of people, all the way to the lawn swarming with screaming preteen girls), whisk me away and marry me. I was also under the impression that NKOTB was creating, right there in front of me, a legendary musical event. A legendary musical event that involved very large shoulder pads, humongous peace sign necklaces and hats with the top cut out, among other unfortunate 90s fashions. And pseudo-dancing while sitting on barstools.

Preteen girls are not rational creatures.

It turns out that nearly 30-year-old girls are not rational creatures, either, because my friend Jen and I were so excited when we saw NKOTB was coming to Chicago that we squealed right in the middle of our office. And then we started singing.

Ah, recapturing the magic of childhood. I LOVE YOU, JOEY MAC! Hee hee.